


Our Journey

by Dakine1105



Category: Impractical Jokers
Genre: F/M, Family, Feelings, Gen, Love, Marriage, Past Relationship(s), Relationship(s)
Language: English
Status: In-Progress
Published: 2017-03-16
Updated: 2017-04-29
Packaged: 2018-10-05 20:14:15
Rating: Not Rated
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 36
Words: 47,402
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/10316108
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/Dakine1105/pseuds/Dakine1105
Summary: This story follows two prior about Brian and Mia "No one like you" was the first story, then,"Me And You..till the end." This is the third story. We will see what happens as the kids get older, and what new things come into their lives. Enjoy!





	1. Always learning

I am waiting to pick up Amelia and Landon from soccer practice looks like they are wrapping up, I go to text Mia when a knock on my window makes me jump I turn to see Becky, she is Josh's Mom, he s a friend Of Landon's and she is...well I do not like her, never have "hey Brian how's it going ? " I nod "good ..thanks...and you ?" she sighs "oh ok...since you know the divorce been a little rough but we are making it..." I look at her wtf am I supposed to say "well hey keep going" that was dumb,..yeah a divorce cause she cheated on the poor guy left & right I saw her out , I hate that I wish she would leave I see the kids coming, "well gotta go " the kids get in and say hello to her and goodbye to Josh I drive off "practice was good my children?" Landon nods, Amelia too " good you're Mom took Max to his dentist appointment you two wanna go out to dinner?" "oh yeah dad I am so hungry" Amelia chimes in " me too dad , thank you Mr Quinn" I smile and shake my head after we decide on where to go and are seated Landon looks thoughtfully at me " dad when did you know you loved Mom, like when did,,,it like hit you?" I look at him and Amelia they are both waiting..."I knew she was beautiful when I first saw her that night at the wedding, I knew she was also just as beautiful inside when we went to the all night café after the wedding and talked till the morning, loved her...she said it first , I knew I loved her , we had planned to meet up after work to go out cause we had not been out in a while with me filming and she had a lot of clients she was working at, so it was like almost 11 when I got done, she had been waiting since like 9 something to meet me, she sent me a text around 10 to just come over to her place , I was so upset we went over the time we had planned , this was like the 4th time I had to cancel plans with her, so I was like great she's done, I get there and she had dinner waiting for me, my favorites mind you and she sat and we talked about our day ,. I said " I know this is getting old I am so sorry I have to keep cancelling and it ' s so late, she looked at me and said " I am not sorry, cause I get to see you and spend time with you Brian, it doesn't matter where we go , or are I just love  
being with you , all the time" "I knew she was the one....and I loved her." They both smile Landon looks at Amelia then me "our history teacher was talking about all the great love stories today and he said go home and ask you're parents when they fell in love, well who's parents are still married he said , cool Dad., I am glad you and Mom still love one another " I smile " I will never love any woman like I love you're mom" Amelia reaches across the table and pats my arm " you are a good man Dad " I bow my head "why thank you princess" our food comes and we talk and laugh , and I keep thinking back to that night, it always makes me smile.  
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Max and I are getting some grocery's his mouth is a little sore I stopped and got him a milkshake as we re in the checkout lane I hear a man's voice calling my name I turn and look , it's Jay I dated him before Brian he comes over and hugs me Max looks at him "mia how are you ? wow it's been what 18 years?" I nod "yes, it has , how are you ?" he shrugs "eh divorced 2 kids and I see you have at least one (he looks at Max) he looks just like you " "I have three, this is Max my youngest , Max this is jay an old friend of mine" Max looks up at him "hello Jay" "hey buddy..me and you're Mom used to date can you believe that?" oh what the heck he's 7 like he cares "well Jay nice seeing you , we have to get home take care" he nods " you and Brian still married?" I look at him "yes we are, happily thank you " he nods and looks at me then max " you're mom is still the most pretty woman I ever saw " and with that he walks away I shake my head and pay for the grocery's and head home. Later after the kids are in bed I am sitting on our bed with my laptop planning my girls long weekend away , well it s all planned just going over some details. Me, my best friend Michelle and she's Landon's godmother, and Sals long time girlfriend Mandy we are headed to a resort in Florida, for 4 days in two weeks, I am very excited, Bri comes in and plops on the bed looking at me "hey guess what Max told me before his bed time story" I look at Bri and shake my head no "he met Jay your old boyfriend and how Jay told him you are the most pretty woman he ever saw " I sigh I did not even think Max was paying attention I put the laptop aside "Brian I didn't mention it cause it's not worth mentioning , he is not " "he also asked if you are STILL married to me? still being the key word here" "he did and I said yes happily thank you " he lays his head in my lap I run my fingers thru his hair " he's not allowed to say how pretty you are, cause you are mine and beautiful " I lean over and kiss him running my tounge over his bottom lip he loves that , the soft moan from his mouth proves that " who cares about him , I do not, you should not and Max does not...." "its creepy he was like there and saw you & Max like your kid you know? I don't know sounds dumb...he's a tool" I smirk and lean down and kiss him , more "are these kisses a distraction?" I shake ,my head no "I wanted to feel you're lips on mine , cause I mean I do love you're mouth anyplace you happen to place it on my body " he smiles and pats his legs I move down and lay on top of him feeling his body , I love feeling him under me he runs his hands along my back up & down " you know gonna miss you when you go to Florida " "just 4 days it will fly by Bri" he shrugs "not when the bed is empty and I know...that I am the one usually gone and the bed is empty for you , but just saying how I feel " I kiss his sweet lips "it's nice to be missed " he reaches up and strokes my hair I love his hands on me " Saturday Landon said he would watch Max, well Amelia too, how about you and I go out , just you , just me" I nod "I would love to Bri, been over a month we had a just us night , I miss that" "yeah me too sweetheart" I lay my head on his chest I love hearing his heart beat he rubs my back and kisses my head , I love everything little thing about this man , my love for him has only grown over the years, I thought I loved him when we got married , when the kids were born, I can't fathom how deeply I love him because it scares me, and I keep telling myself how silly that is Mia , but I can' help how I feel, I think because of what happened when   
he was missing, I never felt so lost and that was the first time ever I had a feeling of what life was without him , and I never felt so lonely and empty in my life.  
"


	2. Anything you want

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> *sexual content ahead *

I get a text from Sal as I get ready for bed they want to add 3 more shows in the UK which means we will be there almost 6 weeks I text back what do you think and the other guys he says they re on board so I guess I am too, I go to kiss the kids goodnight , well the older ones Max has been asleep over an hour now after we read a batman comic, I go to Amelia 's room she s almost asleep and feeling better after Mia talked to her I go in and lean down "night daddy love you " her eyes close then open I lean and kiss her forehead "night princess love you " she smiles I shut her door half way , check on Max across the hall sleeping my little man, I see Landon coming up from downstairs Mia behind him " Night Lando, " he hugs me then Mia she kisses him then watches him walk into his room  
she looks at me " that is one pretty great kid we have Bri " I put my arm around her as we walk to our room " this I know, he's just like his mama" she kisses my cheek "and his daddy, so you wanna finish that kissing thing we started earlier ?" she gives me that Mia grin I love I wrap my arms around her and kiss her then stop " oh , Sal sent me a text, adding three more shows to the UK tour in October she looks at me " ok honey so how long will you be gone?" "six weeks give or take" she nods "ok ... honey well it's good you are adding shows, and we will come see you , the kids love coming over to jolly ole England" I smirk and kiss her lips I never ever get tired or never want to not kiss her sweet lips she pulls my shirt off of me tosses it to the side " you know I miss you when you are gone I mean that's known...but you know I miss you're body too " I raise my eyebrow she smiles "well it is only April but you know you can really start to get some extra loving for when I am gone in October , I mean hey I am ok with that baby " she laughs and her curly dark hair falls she is just beautiful I pick her up she kisses me hard I lay her down on our bed she holds onto me she stops and looks at me I smile " Brian I've loved you 16 years does it seem that long to you ? Seems like yesterday we met at that wedding " I rub her cheek with my thumb " I recall that night ... I saw you The most beautiful woman I ever laid eyes on and 16 years later I feel the same exact way " she nods her eyes get misty "kiss me my Bri" I lean down and attach my lips to hers she runs her hands up and down my body tugging my pj pants down I push her tank up and off running my hands over her boobs she moans into my mouth she raises her hips I yank her bottoms off she pulls my body down onto hers she wraps her legs around me I push into her she arches her back moans my name I nuzzle her neck "deeper Brian deeper " I nip her lip and pull out then slam into her she yells my name that turns into a moan I fucking love her moaning , her body I feel her body tense she's moaning my name over and over her lips search my neck kissing , sucking she cums whispering in my ear "you are so incredible baby cum for me Bri cum deep in me " that sends me over the edge I cum hard it feels so good so damn good I lay next to her she snuggles into my side my arm holds her close to me she kisses my chest then lays her head on it "no one loves you like I do baby " she turns her head to look at me "and no one ever will my sweet Bri " @@@@@@@@@@@@@@@@@@@@@@@@@@@ I hear him breathing hard it startled me awake I sit up his hands are shaking , his eyes closed dammit not again my poor bri I get up and go over to his side of the bed I gently shake him calling his name he's mumbling no no please don't touch her ...no!!! I shake him harder he bolts straight up his arm knocking me over I fall to the ground I hear him say my name he gets out of bed I getup I'm not hurt just taken a back he looks at me " are you ok? Did I wake you I has one of my ..." he doesn't finish I hug him " you're ok Brian it didn't last long honey I promise it's ok " he holds me tightly his breathing is labored I rub his back grab the bottle of water from his nightstand and give him some to drink he seems to settle down I get into bed next to him he's still sitting up I hold his hand " it's just never going to stop is it? " I want to cry the look on his face breaks my heart in two " honey it's ok it's nothing you can help...hey you've been thru things ...a lot of have not it's nothing bad Bri you're ok I'm here baby I'm here ok?" He turns looks at me " I can't ever not be with you...you have saved me more times than you know " I kiss his face and pat his pillow he lays down I lay next to him and rub his head that always puts him to sleep my sweet man ...I wish these nightmares would leave him be.


	3. Mia's girls weekend

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> *sexual content ahead *

I'm on the couch Max is laying on me Landon on my other side Amelia is cuddled up with Bri we just got done watching a movie max pets my hair he does that when he's sleepy "mommy promise you'll kiss me before you leave in the morning? " I kiss the top of his head "of course I will my sweet boy " he smiles then lays back on me I feel Brian's eyes on me I look over at him he winks at me I wink back Landon lays his head on my shoulder I love he still does that I know at 13 some boys would think it's baby ish not my Landon I love it , I kiss his forehead "mom I'm gonna miss you " I almost cry " I'll miss my Landon too , but I'll be thinking of you ,all of you " Amelia says "mom lay on the beach all day ...and please bring me back a sand dollar" "I promise I will honey " bri kisses her cheek "you're mom is going for a very deserving vacation she does so much for all of us, she needs some time for just her and we got this handled here " max pops up "mommy you like doing all that stuff for us ?" I nod "absolutely, you four are my life I love being a mommy and I love being a wife I wouldn't want it any other way " he gives me a huge smile "I'm really glad I got you as my mommy ...and daddy you too cause you're like the best daddy on the planet !!" He's so adorable I kiss his sweet face bri smiles "thanks buddy hey (he nudges Amelia) you agree with you're little brother? Hmm best daddy on the planet ?" She shrugs " you'll do " she tries not to laugh she fails he grabs her and tickles her till she agrees , Landon smirks " yeah you and dad are pretty good at this parenting stuff " I put my arm around him " well you three are pretty good kids so it's been an easy job ..so far" bri says " yeah till you're driving this one (nods at Amelia) likes boys and that one (nodding at max ) hmmm gotta think on him . It's a great family night before I leave and I love it .  
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My arms around her back is molded into my body she's so warm I peek over her body she's going to get up soon to leave for the airport I kiss the back of her neck and rub her hip she begins to stir I slowly move from her as I move away she lays flat her head on my pillow perfect I get up quietly so she doesn't wake up I ever so slowly get back on the bed kneeling I put my hand on her hip she doesn't move , I place my other hand on her other hip still no movement I slowly peel her pj shorts down she moves so I stop, I wait she stops moving I pull them down further then gently pull her panties to the side I move my head down and gently lick her ,by the third lick she's up I hear her moan I pull the shorts and panties off and lay between her legs , holding her thighs down I slowly lick her up and down her moaning has intensified her hands are in my hair I hear her softly say my name , I love making her cum this way I swirl my tounge on her clit she tugs my hair harder I know she loves that " oooh b..bri ..baby ooh" her legs start to shake I kiss , lick , and suck till she cums I love the taste of her I kiss her inner thighs and move up her body she grabs my face and kisses me her one hand goes into my boxers she can feel how hard I am she rubs me I pull my boxers off she pushes my ass pushing me into her she keeps kissing me her tounge in my mouth against mine I push deep inside of her she moans into my mouth raising her hips to meet my thrusts she's so warm and soft , I can't get enough of her " I look in her eyes she smiles touches my face " my Bri ...I love you " I miss her already " love you my Mia " I slowly move in and out of her , she kisses the crook of my neck I cum deep inside her I can't .. so good I lay my forehead on hers she whispers no one loves me like you do I smile and whisper back no one ever will.  
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I'm sitting on a gorgeous beach with two great friends we had lunch earlier and ate in the cabana we rented now feet in the sand a few drinks in we sit in cozy chairs in a circle laughing talking enjoying the sun " I swear at times Sal leaves his socks on during sex it freaks me out I say take those off he says my feet are cold ...um it's July pal.. I do love him though " we all crack up Michelle pats my leg " now Mandy we can't all have perfect sexual men like Mia over here " I giggle and smack her arm " hey my man...well he just knows how to hit every spot right that's what I'm saying " we crack up order more fruity drinks and talk about sex, love and life it's a carefree easy day by the time dinner comes my sides hurt from laughing, after changing we walk down to dinner ,Mandy asks an older gentleman if he'd take our picture by the waterfall in the pool , she posts it to her IG and tags Michelle and I in it , we sit down and order our food she looks at her phone and smiles " he's just the sweetest " I smile " Sal really is a sweetheart " she nods " he is but I was referring to you're husband look at his comment on my IG " she hands me her phone I read his comment" three lovely ladies , I'm partial to the short one on the end in the pink dress #shesbeautifulmygirl, I adore him Michele reads it " yep that's Brian " I'm having so much fun but I'm missing the kids and that sweet husband of mine .  
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The kids and I along with Sal and Joe just got done go cart riding it was a blast   
And Sal tried to cheat but I cut him off it was pretty cool at least I thought so we ate earlier so we're headed back to my house to chill the kids had a blast I see max is looking sleepy even on a Saturday he doesn't stay up late . I carry him in from the car and lay him on his bed put his batman pjs on and he stays asleep a kiss goodnight and I head down to join everyone, as I come down the stairs all eyes are on me " what ? What's going on?" At first I thought they were being funny but Sal looks upset the kids look at him joe too " Sal what is it ? " joe asks him his phone in his hand he looks at me " that was Mandy she ...said they all were on a boat and it...hit something I don't know but Mia she fell off the boat and hit her head ....she's in the hospital " I look at the kids I don't let him finish " I have to be with her I need a flight I have to go " I'm frantic but trying to not scare the kids who are both in tears I go hug them both to me " you're mom is going to be ok ...it's ok I'm gonna go um I'll call grandma abs papa they'll stay here um" Sal walks over to us " I'll book us a flight you're not traveling alone " I nod joe says he'll stay with the kids till my parents can drive up from PA I hug him and sal I go to pack my heads swimming dear god please let her be ok what am I ...ok focus Brian pack Sals getting us a flight I have to get to her she needs me, and I need her .   
Finally on a flight three hours later I talked to Michelle she said the fall knocked her unconscious she hasn't woken up yet , ok well a fall and hitting you're head will knock you out so ...she'll wake up soon I know she will.. I know it please god let her wake up.


	4. Memories

You know that expression all the air leaves you're body? that's exactly what I felt like when I walked into her hospital room , machines all around her she has a breathing tube, two more iv's in her arms, something else attached to her right arm , I go and kiss her head then cheek, "Mia honey , I'm here, you are going to be ok baby " I want her to answer me, open her eyes Sal comes and stands by me puts his arm around my back Michelle moves a chair over to me , I look at them Michelle starts crying, I kiss Mia's face again and move over to Michelle I hug her "Brian I ..." she can't talk poor thing, Mandy walks in with the Dr's "Brian I went to get them when you got here, Dr Ghan, Dr Rizzo, this is Brian Mia's husband" Michelle moves from me and I shake their hands they look at everyone in the room "it's ok this is all family " I knew that's what they were waiting for the shorter one Ghan speaks first telling me she hit the back of her head which causes some brain swelling, she has movement in her body which is good, they check that daily her arms, legs, hands, & feet he said that's a very good sign , waiting for her to wake up is where we are, she did open her eyes this morning and look around the room that I knew Michelle texted me that , they say a few other things I am listening but I keep looking at Mia, they tell me they will be back later I thank them and go sit by her and hold her hand.  
Sal announces he's going to get lunch for all of us, he and Mandy go , Michelle moves a chair and sits by me she takes my hand in hers "she's going to be ok Brian" I nod I can't even think of the alternative course she is I know what happened Michelle told me what happened, she has a huge bruise and cut on her arm I point at it she shakes her head " it 's fine they looked at it " "how did you get it?" she tears up " I jumped in the water after she fell in trying to grab her, I saw her hit her head I knew she was hurt but I don't know I hit the side of the boat on the way down I guess " That's Michelle she s so damn sweet I lean over and kiss her cheek and say thank you she shakes her head no " you know I love her so much I ...she's going to be ok ...she needs to be, we need her and the kids " I tear up and nod...I gotta call them "I should call them" she nods I get up kiss Mia's head and step into the hallway to call them, I can't look at Mia and call them its just too much, I talk to all three poor Max he was sleeping when I left my Mom had to tell him he's so upset I do my best to make him feel better, but he's still crying when I talk to Landon again, he says he will watch , pay extra attention to him he's such a good kid, I tell them I love them and will call again later. I walk back in the room I move some hair away from her forehead I tell her the kids all love her , I sit back down and hold her hand.  
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It's around 7:10 we are sitting talking I feel her hand move I look at her and stand up "Mia? honey can you hear me?" her eyes flutter open then close then open again "mia! honey " I kiss her head I don't want to overwhelm her Sal , Michelle and Mandy stand by her bed she's looking at all of us but she does not look right something is off about her I can't place it...Michelle goes to get a nurse to let her know she's awake "baby you are ok, you are and I am here..." she stares blankly at me the nurse and Dr Rizzo come in he shines a light in both her eyes she flinches he said that's very good she's reacting to light he checks her vtials and oxygen level both all very good he says he wants to get the breathing tube out lets her know it will hurt but not for long we are asked to wait in the hallway oh thank you sweet Jesus Sal hugs me, "I knew she was going to wake up, she is Mia for crying out loud" we smile and talk..after a while the Dr comes out and asks to speak to me he takes me to the side "Brian I am going to call the neurologist to come see her, in fact I already paged him, she has some...well she has no idea where she is , how she got here I asked her , her name, what year it is she could not answer me this happens with a head injury so nothing to be too alarmed about, once he comes up and sees her we will have a better understanding " I look at him like he's an alien what the hell did he just say she does not know who she is? she..memory loss ? I look over at the three of them they walk over and I tell them, Dr Rizzo says he will be right back, so if she does not know who she is...will she know me? We sit out in the private waiting room after at least close to an hour the neurologist comes to talk to me, to us Dr Matthews he looks like he's 12 he says he asked her many questions she does know the year and her name after some coaxing she has no idea about where she lives, that she is a Mom or married he asked her very basic questions, I told Dr Rizzo the kids names where we live stuff like that , she has no clue my mouth just hangs open I ....my God "will she be ok? will this go away? I mean is it short term memory loss or ?" he sighs " she has no long term memory at the moment she can identify things around her, but she has no...past at the moment only present " I nod and just hang my head and cry what is going on? she has no idea who I am ? or the kids? this is a nightmare   
how do I do this? the kids? I feel unhinged this is not real , ok My Mia "wait can I see her? maybe if she sees my face" he nods " I was going to suggest that, Brian be prepared if she does not know you I know its hard believe me , My Mom has early alzhemiers she has no idea who I am , I know it ...just I am not giving you much time to prepare but..." I want to see her, please " he nods and I follow him out I feel nervous and scared, he knocks we walk in she is sitting up in bed she looks at us "hello Mia" she nods "hello Dr Matthews " she just stares at me , my heart sinks "Mia ,do you know who this is?"  
she looks at me, thoughtfully my eyes plead with hers ...she shakes her head no I want to die "Mia his name is Brian, Brian Quinn does that sound familiar? : she thinks she shakes her head no, "I am ...sorry I do not...should I know you?" oh God my heart is breaking , and she sounds so sweet saying sorry , my God Dr Matthews says "yes you have known him a long long time , remember when I asked you if you knew him , and Landon and Amelia and Max? " (she nods yes) and I said you are married ? (she nods yes and tears up) this is Brian you're husband " she looks at me, tears running down her face now I am fighting back tears " I ...am sorry I don't...remember you " she puts her hands in her face and cries I want to hug her Dr puts his hand up shakes his head, sure she does not know who the fuck I am I would scare her I get out of the room as quick as I can , I find the door to the stairwell and bolt thru it I cannot breathe I run down 5 flights of stairs I feel like I am choking I reach the bottom and run out into the outside I stop and lean over and catch my breathe , I sit on a bench near by , I have never felt so hurt and sad in my whole life, my sweet Mia, my girl has no idea who I am , will she ever? I sob, for her, for me and our kids, what the hell is going to happen to us? My sweet Mia she has to remember her past, us, the kids, she is my life how can I do this? I am broken.


	5. Day by day, or hour by hour?

I am in Dr Matthews office with Sal & Michelle , Mandy had to fly home for work since they went over two days being here, Mia is being released this afternoon , he set up a place in New York for her to see a Dr one of the best and a friend of his he clears his throat "Brian I also wanted to talk to you about...a facility its in New York , by long Island its for people with the same types of problems she has, they can help her remember and its really quite a great place" I nod" well ok I mean that's a drive but ok we can do that " he looks at me then sal and michelle then back at me" no Brian she would stay there" I shake my head no "nope no way I am not putting her someplace , she s coming home with me where she belongs " he looks at me with compassion , "brian she does not know...she won't know that is her home, and with you're kids there, I mean its not a good idea , and this place is highly reccomened " I shake my head no Sal puts his hand on my arm" Bri buddy , listen to me and I ..will tell you the truth like always, she should go there , Bri she's not going to know the kids, and I mean it's gonna be hard on them and especially Max...you gotta think of that " I stand up looking at all three of them  
"I have thought of that that's all I think about, our kids, who their Mom won't recognize them, how will they cope? how will she? I have loved this woman for 16 years do you understand that? and you just want me to stick her in there? how can I ? how can I ?" I sit back down and cry I just am so defeated my Mia , my kids...I have to learn how to cope with this" I need help and I don't know what to do" Sal starts tearing up " you have me Brian and Michelle (she nods crying) and Murr, Joe, you're family, Mia's brothers, we all love you Brian and the kids we will help you thru this its not easy , I know it hurts me to see her like that I can imagine you're pain Brian, but listen to me she will get her memory back I know it, she 's Mia if anyone can do it she can" I nod and wipe my face I do not want to put her in there but ..maybe , maybe if she saw our home and the kids it would spark something I say that to Dr Matthews he agrees he says any little thing will help, take her to places she knows that we have been to, show her pictures , talk to her I intend on doing all of that and more.  
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I go inside to talk to the kids , my parents have kind of prepared them but I wanted to talk to them, Mia is outside with Sal and Michelle Max runs to me I pick him up and hold him close , I hug Landon and Amelia and my parents I sit down with Max on my lap " you know that Mommy hit her head and she's having a hard time remembering things, people ...she ..the part of her brain that has the memory part well that's not working right now...so I know its upsetting but she may not remember you all and we have to make her feel ok, it s going to be strange I know, but we have to love her even more than we already do and help her remember " Amelia wipes her eyes " I read that if you show them pictures it helps dad , so I have all our photo books ready and even dvds we hade made" I smile at her poor baby she 's so sad "great idea princess...Max buddy you understand what I said?" he nods but looks very afraid I kiss him and hold him close , Landon gets up and sits by me "max remember what we talked about?" he nods "its gonna be ok Max , she will remember us ...it will happen ok? " he nods again I look at my parents they have been so great , I would be lost without them , I move max and go outside to get Mia , I grab our luggage Sal and Michelle leave, and she follows me in , I set our bags in the kitchen she looks around it then at me I smile at her she smiles back it melts my heart: Mia you want to go see...um meet a few people? " "do they know me? " I nod "remember I told you Landon, and Amelia and Max" she nods and follows me into the living room all of them stand up she looks at all of them , but keeps staring at Max, she looks at me "he looks like me" (she's looking at Max, I nod) "that's Max he's 7 " she smiles at him he smiles back he moves from Landon's side and hugs her she hugs him back looking at us , she looks lost, " and this is Landon, (she smiles at him) and this is Amelia (she smiles at her) and I tell her , who my parents are she nods and smiles, Max looks up at her" do you remember me mommy?" her eyes go wide she shakes her head no and steps back she looks very upset Max backs up into me then stands behind me she looks around then back at me " I am ...sorry I don't I just ...I try I really do but (she starts to cry) I can't and I don't mean to hurt any of you ...but ...this is just too much I .." she starts to sob my Mom goes over to her and walks her into the kitchen all 3 kids are crying , my Dad hugs Amelia to him , he looks at me, I know what I have to do and it's going to kill me.  
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after the kids go to sleep I knock on our bedroom door she s sitting on the end of the bed just staring I sit down across from her she points at the dresser by the bathroom" I see you and I in a lot of pictures there, and ...kids...they are such sweet kids, precious ...I keep looking at them trying to remember.. I just can't " "it's ok Mia, you will...I promise you " she looks so sad "Brian when , I mean how long have we been married? " I smile at her, " 14 years , we have known one another 16 soon to be 17 in September, we met at a wedding we both went to" she nods she looks over at our wedding picture it's black and white it's my absolute favorite a close up of us after we got married "that's a very nice picture" I nod" It s my favorite " she closes her eyes and opens them "Mia Dr Matthews, there is a place here in New York on long island, it's a facility for people with head injuries or traumas, he thinks this place will help you , a lot infact " she looks at me " so you would take me there and bring me back here?" "no you would live there for a while" she looks down at her hands , her wedding ring on her finger she touches it, I noticed her doing that on the flight too she looks up teary eyed" if you think it will helpe me get my memory back , then I will go Brian" my god this is killing me "honey why are you crying? " she wipes her face "I am scared, I don't know what I should know and I will be away from you and ...kids and ...I like ...it here I don't know sounds dumb maybe but I feel good here" "oh honey that's a good thing such a good thing, and I think this place will help you , I will come see you every day I promise, and the kids I will bring them and Michelle and Sal and ...well people that love you " she nods and stands up and goes over to the dresser she picks up our wedding photo and one of the kids from last year's vacation in South Carolina " Can I take these with me?" I nod and get up and stand by her "you can take whatever you want to honey" she nods and wipes more tears away , my heart aches for her, I tell her let me know if she needs anything, she says thank you , I go to get the card out Dr Matthews gave me and look on line to where I am sending the love of life to , I do it with a heavy heart.


	6. Broken

We are waiting in the doctors office we already went and filled out paperwork and insurance information. After the Dr meeting the administration will show us around and her room it's nice here from what I've seen pretty building clean , she looks nervous after a few minutes the Dr comes in Dr Goldberg he introduces himself "Mia , Brian I've read what Dr Matthews wrote about what happened and what he suggested for you and I agree with him. Mia we are going to help you , therApy and brain excercise, we are going to help you with you're memory , we have an excellent program here I want you to know we will do everything we can for you " I look at her " thank you Dr Goldberg we just want this to work , very much so." He asks if we have any questions neither of us do , he escorts us to the administration , a lady that reminds me of my mom look wise introduces herself to us her name is patty she shows us around then to her room she tells us a few things then leaves us I place her suitcase up on the dresser it's a nice room but it reminds me of a hospital "nice tv and a DVD player I brought dvds for you to watch " she nods her head she looks so sad it's breaking my heart " Brian are you staying for a bit or you have to go?" " I'm staying a bit I've got coverage at our store " " we have a store?" I look at her course she wouldn't know I explain it she listens intently " thank you for telling me that " I nod " you need anything else for you're room? She shakes her head no " thank you though " I help her put her stuff away and we walk around the place together seeing the different rooms and activities we go back to her room " its getting late , I know it's like an hour drive I timed it when we left and you've got the kids and store and Stuff I'm sure thank you for staying " I nod "I'll be back tomorrow ok " she nods I stick my hands in my pockets looking at her she walks over to me I smile at her she looks at me so sweetly " Brian can I hug you?" My god yes " yes you can she smiles and reaches up to hug me I wrap my arms around and hold her I hope she remembers what it felt like, she's so soft she lays her head on my chest by my heart she always did that! She pulls away after a few minutes and looks up at me " you have very strong arms " I grin at her " did we hug a lot ?" I nod my head yes she smiles " I can see why " that made me laugh then she laughed it's the first time in a while I laughed felt great . I step back moving my arms from her she looks sad again " then I'll see you tomorrow?" I nod " I'll be here as soon as I can Mia " she nods "ok ..drive safe " I smile and walk out I close her door close my eyes and go I don't cry till I'm in my jeep leaving her here is so damn hard . @@@@@@@@@@@@@@@@ I get home I feel empty but I put on a brave face for the kids I go in and they are playing trouble with my dad , max keeps laughing my dad keeps playing wrong he always does that makes them laugh " papa playing trouble the wrong way again?" Max nods cracking up Amelia's laughing too I kiss all three on the head my moms in the living room folding laundry I go over sit by her kiss her cheek hug her to my side" have I thanked you for all you're doing ?" She waves her hand " yes and no need Bri you know me and you're dad are here not going anywhere...how'd it go? Aside from what you texted me?" I shake my head " it was hard leaving her there I just . ...want her here with me with us I know it'll help her , she looked so sad when I left " she pats my leg " they will give her the help Honey and hopefully she's going to start remembering soon" I nod " where is Landon upstairs?" " he barely left his room since you left he didn't want any dinner " I get up and go upstairs I knock he says come in I go in he's lying on his bed I can tell he's been crying his eyes are all puffy I sit on the bed put my arm around him my hand flat by his side on the bed " hi buddy I know you're upset ( he nods but doesn't look at me) I'm going back tomorrow you and you're brother and sister can go ( he shakes his head no) " I don't want to see her.... there " " Landon look at me ( he turns to look at me) I know you're upset she's there I am too but it's going to help her son I promise you that she's trying Landon she is " he wipes the tears escaping from his eyes " I know dad I get that but it's just weird she looks the same , but she's not when I hugged her bye this morning it was like who is she ? She's my mom but she's not I miss her dad I just want her to open her eyes and know us !" He's crying so much now I put my arms out he moves quickly to them and just cries this poor kid he's been so great since this happened, with me and especially Max but he's just 13 and I know it's too much for him he's a sweet kid full of compassion so much like her , he's clinging to me I just hug him and let him cry glad he's letting it out and heartbroken he is. @@@@@@@@@@@@@@@@@@@@@@@@ I'm looking at Simon he's my therapist , I'm to see him daily after breakfast he smiles a lot I don't know why " Mia you said you've been looking at pictures last night and this morning ? ( I nod ) of you're wedding and three kids?( I nod) and while looking at them did anything seem , familiar to you ?( I shake my head no) looking at old pictures and maybe video is a huge help ". " Brian brought me a lot I'm going to watch some today " he nods and writes on his pad he does that a lot funny I'm not saying much what's he writing ? Later I'm sitting outside it's a pretty garden the flowers are beautiful smell so good a woman with dark blonde hair comes and sits by me I don't say anything I can feel her looking at me I turn to look at her " hi I'm Diane that's what they tell me like daily see I have a name tag cause I forget at times but I know my address and my husband s name I'm remembering a lot lately I was in a car accident last year took a huge hit on my noggin made me forget a lot but I'm getting better every day " I smile kinda at her " well that's good " she smiles at me " you're Mia Right? Mia Quinn ? " I nod " yeah we like getting new people here more people to talk to see funny I knew you're name right? My long term sucks there s a really sweet guy here Alex he has short term memory he'll ask you the same thing over and over it's rattling at times but he can't help it he's here like us ( I nod ) you're husband is so handsome I saw him leaving yesterday mine barely sees me anymore at first he came every day but then it changed to a few times then once a month , I think he's seeing another woman I guess I can't blame him you know ? " I don't know I know I like Brian he's very sweet and there's something about him I don't want to listen to her babbling anymore I get up " I have to go bye " I walk quickly to my room and close the door I sit in the chair and open up a book a photo book it's full of pictures of me and Brian some just him he was a fireman? I wonder when I'll ask him I see the kids they really are precious, there s some of me pregnant I wonder with which child ? I'll have to ask Brian that too I look at the clock it's almost 11 I hope he gets here soon I like spending time with him he's very sweet and he has this look on his face when he looks at me , I can't explain it but it makes me happy . Oh I wish I'd wake up and remember my life I just want to remember him the kids and me ...I'm scared I feel lonely except when Brian is here.


	7. Trying

I knock on her door no reply I open it she's sleeping in the chair I go in. Lose the door , I see she was looking at photos the DVD player is on whatever she had on is over I push the button it goes off she looks so peaceful I don't want to wake her but I want her to know I'm here , I sit in the other chair by her and just look at her , she moves her legs her eyes open she instantly smiles st me my heart beats fast that smile " hi Brian sorry were you here long? " " no and don't be sorry " she gets up the blanket falls she has a tank top on she looks sexy , thoughts run thru my head , yeah they do she gets a sweater And puts it on " I wrote down questions to ask you is that ok?" " Honey yes any question any time honest " she gets a piece of paper " some are from the photo s some I just thought of were you a firefighter when we were married or together? " I shake my head no " that was before I met you , I was still a fireman but not active when we met I was doing the show " " the show?" Oh I didn't even think she would not know I pull out my phone pull up impractical jokers and explain to her " wow so you're famous. " I chuckle " well a little maybe we still do tours ,comedy ones yeah I love it , loved it I do a podcast too " I explain that too her show her TESD on line she keeps looking at me " you do that podcast in New Jersey " I stare at her she remembers that I nod seeing if there's more " I remember that ...I don't know it just popped in my head " I smile " Mia that's great Honey " she looks like she's thinking more god please let more click  
She sighs I take that as she doesn't and that's ok " my parents are bringing the kids to see you later is that ok?" She nods " yes I'd like that a lot actually Brian , do I have parents ?" I show her in one of the albums a photo of them she stares at it " you're dads name was Joe you're mom is Lucille " she looks at the page than me " was? Is my dad not living?" " no Honey he died when it was a year after we were together great guy and , you adored him you two were close you have two older brothers they live in Ohio Dominic and nick , Dominic was living here in New York but moved back to Ohio three years ago to take over you're mom's flower shop , you are from Ohio you moved here with Dominic 18 years ago he had a construction business " she nods it seems she's processing the information " thank you for telling me all those things Brian , it helps me hey I remembered one thing yeah " I laugh she does too she looks down then into my eyes " looking at all these pictures and I watched a DVD of us and the kids at Disney it said, they were all little ,they are so cute they look happy are they happy kids ?" They are , great kids you are an excellent mom they adore you , we are pretty good parents I gotta say " I go on to tell her about them she's listening so intently I love it " you really are sweet Brian you tell me a lot of things and it's so nice of you " I want to hold her " Mia Honey I will tell you whatever you want to know and keep telling you whatever you need or want you're my Mia " she stares at me " say that again please the last thing you said " " you're my Mia " she closes her eyes she's thinking she speaks but doesn't open her eyes " we were in our room I think ..yes I remember you were packing a suitcase you're hair was short you ...I was sitting by you I said I'll miss you so much Bri , you stopped packing and sat by me kissed me and said I'll miss you my Mia no one loves you like me . . I say to you and no one ever will " she opens her eyes " Brian no I did mean to make you cry is that not right? Or " I clear my throat " no it's all right , true that's what we say to one another no one loves you like I do ....no one ever will " she gets up kneels by me she hugs me laying her head on my chest I pull her closer " I feel so safe with you , and ...loved I feel that from you , you I must love you I can't see how I could not am I a good wife be honest with me , do I make you happy ? " I cry more " you are a great wife and my love Mia , yeah you make me very happy I'm honest with you , I've loved you for 16 years , we had times it was hard and we got thru them , you are a kind gentle person , you show me love even when I fuck up , you love me more I don't know how I got you but I feel lucky you're mine " she cries and moves up from kneeling I stand up she throws her arms around me I can't hug her enough she's remembering things it's going in the right direction after a few minutes or so she looks up at me " were we um....affection couple like kissing and .. um..." Kissing Everyday more than once and uh...you mean sex? ( she blushes and nods) more than average I mean compared to couples being married I don't know ...the desire we both have and it's a lot " she laughs a little " I bet I mean look at you I can't see me Turning you down " I laugh loudly and a lot she's so funny ...she looks at me " can I kiss you or is I mean it's ok if you say no I " I nod yes I lean my head down she gently kisses me oh I have missed this , I kiss her back , she kisses me deeply and I feel her sweet lips on mine I'm loving it so much , she stops looking at me " you are a great kisser wow I see why we kissed so much .. wow I smile at her she starts to say something but stops " you ok Mia ?" She says yes " I better stop kissing you I can feel I want more and .." I nod I get it throwing that in I feel it too I want her so bad she steps back " I'd like to show you the flower garden " " I'd love to see it " off we go I'm so happy she s remembering things so happy . @@@@@@@@@@@@@@@@@@@@@@@@@@@@@@@@@@ I go to see her therapist while the kids and my parents Visit with her , Simon welcomes me into his office I sit down facing him" I'm glad to meet you Brian , Mia is a sweet woman was she always like that ? I nod yes " always she s a sweetheart" he nods " just need to know if you notice any different traits in her you didn't see before her demeanor. ? " I mean she looks lost and sad she never looked that way before the lost part but other than that no " I watch him write on his notepad I tell him how she remembered two things today he wrote those down commented how very good that is we talk a bit more then I go back they are still talking I take that as a good sign Max will be 8 this coming Wednesday Mia had his party planned and paid for two months ago , I wish she could go but all those people, kids parents too much for her she will be very missed Landon is very quiet ,Amelia is talking she likes telling Mia things it's helpful for sure , after almost two hours the kids and my parents say bye and head out it was a good visit, thankfully! @@@@@@@@@@@@@@@@@@@@@@@ We have dinner but in her room food is petty good she asks me more about the kids , about us I answer them all she looks tired " Honey you want to sleep you can I will come back tomorrow " she nods " promise?" " of course and I'll bring you more things ok sound good. " she nods and smiles she's beautiful " thank you. Brian " I stand up she does too she pecks my cheek I kiss hers too " " I'll watch more movies and that will help me with remembering and I get too see , the kids it's great " " so much so Mia you'll see " we hug bye she lingers while hugging me I love it a great way to end my day .


	8. I am aware

I am at the store after I drop the kids off at school, I have to stay here till around noon when our manager Patrick can get here , he s been helping extra so much he 's a great guy, my parents are going to pick the kids up from school so I can go see Mia when Patrick gets here, I think about the times and decide to call Mia and let her know what time I am getting there, no answer in her room, I have her cell I am bringing to her today , I call and ask the front desk to let Mia know, they say they will pass on the message. By the time I get out of the store and on the road it's almost 2:30 we had some stuff at the store only I could handle I also have to stop and pick up Max's cake for tomorrow for his actual birthday, his party is Saturday at Skyzone, I want to get his cake now so I can stay later with Mia, I get there its past 4 but I will stay later like I planned , I walk in and sign in then head to her room , she 's not there, I go to look for her, I know she likes the garden so I check there first I see her sitting by herself holding a photo album Amelia put together for her yesterday she's looking at the ground "hey Mia , how are you ?" she looks up from the ground, "sorry I am late I left the store late and wanted to stop to get Max's cake for tomorrow how are you today?" she looks at me "who are you , should I Know you ?" my heart sinks, is this for real? "Mia its me Brian you're ...you don't remember me? " she shakes her head no I feel like crying what happened ? yesterday she remembered us , I start to talk to her again when a lady approaches me "hi Mr Quinn , I am Sally , Dr Simon requested to see you , would you follow me? " I look at Mia she's not looking at me," sure , Mia I will be back" I follow her into the building to his office we sit down "Mia had a major setback today in our session she kept saying she was waiting for you , so as we talked I told her you would be here later, as we talked and I mentioned you she said Brian who? she seems to have lost whatever she had retained yesterday she has no idea what she knew yesterday , this does happen at times, but the person usually goes back to getting on the right track sometimes it takes a while" "what's a while ?" he looks at me thoughtfully "I can't say for certain all people, cases are different but some a few days, weeks, some months even years" One step forward 2 back great , years? dear God please don't let that be the case here " I think its best you don't see her everyday , Brian at this point it may be more harm than good," I look at him like he's crazy "how can seeing me harm her? I can't not see her " " I know you love her and want to see her, but she got very frustrated today when she could not remember, I think it will help her to look at things you brought her and her sessions here, maybe just a day or two , Brian I feel it would help her a lot , her brain needs time to heal , it will help her I am hoping she was making such positive strides" I look at him , I do not want to do this but if it helps her I agree, I walk back out she's sitting in the same spot, I sit by her she looks at me like she has not a clue who I am , its beyond painful " Mia my name is Brian, I am ...well I came to see you today but maybe you need to rest so I am going to go now and I will see you soon" she nods at me does not say a word I stand up I want to hug her but I bend down and kiss her head, she does not move , I say bye to her and go , I turn around when I get inside she is looking at me, I wave she does not move, it's sad drive home.  
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We are celebrating Max's birthday a day later , after dinner which my Mom made all his favorites, the guys came and Michelle it's painfully obvious Mia is missing but I won't let that ruin his day, 8 years old already, he was born at 7:14 in the morning , her easiest birth and quickest, he was an easy baby, and easy going kid , he's a blessing, happy birthday sung, presents opened he is happily sitting playing his new PS4 game with Landon, Ameila, & Sal they are trying to teach my dad how to play, it's amusing, Joe and his family left with their kids glad they could come Murr is helping me clean up in the kitchen , "Brian anything you need , you know I am call, text away" I nod " I know buddy thank you , just ..not seeing her is so hard not hearing from her , I hope I am doing the right thing, I hope cause I miss her face , I miss her and no she had no idea who I was but I don't know still being able to see her" Murr sighs ": I get that I do...but Brian if she does not know you , that hurts you I know it does maybe these few days will also help you " he has a point, it hurts like hell , but seeing her is more important to me , we talk more about other stuff which is nice for a while, we go in and join the others Max is happy today and that's what matters   
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I remember him Brian we ..he's my husband we have 3 kids so I am, where is he? why has he not come? these people here are making me crazy , I can't do this anymore, I get my sweater and change into the Nike shoes Brian brought me, I take the cash he left me, I am leaving here, going home I want to see him and the kids, I remember things and want to tell him I want to see him, he 's so sweet he understands me, I don't think they do here as much as Brian, I go out by the garden sun is starting to set, no one is around I go thru the gate and walk down the street now all I have to figure out is how to get home.   
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I say what did you just say he says the words again, you're wife is missing, she wandered off, Its 2:52 am are you fucking kidding me? I yell into the phone" you just noticed she is missing, how long has she been gone> you don't know do you ? do you know she has no idea where she is? my God the things that could happen to her, you better have people looking for her,, call the police I am on my way" Oh my God what the hell, I am trying to calm down , I text Sal I need help I need him to come with me, I grab clothes and splash water on my face, I get a text from Sal saying he 's on his way , I go to wake my parents and let them know , and to not let the kids know, I go to get shoes on and head downstairs to wait for Sal cellphone in hand, damn why didn't I leave her cell with her , oh my God we HAVE to find her, my poor Mia.


	9. Where is she...

It's been almost 7 hours since I got the call who the fuck knows how long she was missing these damn idiots keep her safe huh? she's in good hands , bullshit she could be anywhere and if she doesn't know who she is , or what she s looking for, this is horribly bad. Sal and I searched all over around where she left, having no clue where she could have gone, but we looked, Joe and Murr searched and Michelle and Mandy too, I am back home with the police, they called in the FBI since she is missing and considered endangered , My parents took the kids to thier cabin in PA , they do not need to know any of this , they have had it hard enough, they all three were happy to go they love that cabin and my parents love taking them, my brothers are both headed over, Apollo keeps looking out the window he misses her poor dog just can't understand where she is , I wish we knew , Sal lets in two detectives who were inteviewing the staff, they let me know she was seen on a survailance tape leaving out thru the garden they show me the tape on thier phone, she headed north up the street "the problem is she can be anywhere by now and she left at 7:42 pm and they did not call me till after 2 am!" he nods "yes but before they called you they were searching for her" I am so pissed off "Oh I bet to cover thier own asses!!" he looks down at his shoes yeah he knows I am right , Sal comes and stands by me "can I ask are flyers being made? to put up?" he nods "yes with the photo Mr Quinn gave the officer earlier we are working hard I promise you that "  
I sigh I can't be mad at this guy what the hell did he do wrong? " "and I thank you for that , I just want my wife home safe & sound" "so do we Mr Quinn" ....It's almost 6:40 at night the police have left but keep in contact with me, Joe and Murr went home, Michelle too, she was the last to go , Sal stayed with Mandy but really I just want to be alone for a while he understood and left said he d be back soon, I know he will, I called my parents, face timed the kids, they are having fun that does my heart good, I go get a beer from the fridge, it's so quiet in the house, I walk back into the living room, look at the pictures on our walls, us the kids family, the first picture of me and Mia ever taken at a yankees game, that was our fourth date, it was a good time....I am looking at remembering good times to try and help me cope with ..it's going to be dark soon please someone find her, or let her find a good person to help her, I sit in the recliner , the kitties all jump up they know I am upset and want me to be ok, they are such sweet animals, I notice Apollo wagging his tail looking out the window, he does that when he sees kids..he gets very excited, I hear knocking at the door and he's barking now I get up pet him it's ok buddy shhh, I open the door.........." Bri oh my god !" I throw open the door she jump into my arms I hold her tight bringing her inside she's crying and talking I'm in tears I'm so happy she's ok , thank you god ,thank you " she's clinging to me I don't let go until she does " I couldn't stay there anymore and I left I got confused and ended up in The wrong place ...so then I got a bus to come home but when we stopped you know so people could get off I saw our place Bri where we first went after the wedding the all night cafe and deli on 52nd street and I went in it was late it was dark out so I went in and ate and this nice server Diane I asked her for a pen and paper and she gave me you know a pad what they write thier orders on and look (she pulls out a bunch of them) I started writing everything I remembered about you and the kids , us our life look I mean (she reads some to me) you asked me to marry you in our bedroom I was reading a book you knelt down and gave me the ring, and Landon he plays baseball it's his favorite sport and he loves going on walks with me. ..Amelia she's a dancer we we put her in class when she was three she loves it and she's so full of spirit and max our, baby boy loves batman cause of you're love for him and he's such a sweet little boy , you were on tv for years on you're show impractical jokers with you're three best friends Sal James and joe ...and I love you so much my Bri ....there's more I know I can remember and I will " I can't even talk I hug her close tears on my face my Mia she's back ...she reaches up kisses me and smiles I have to call the detective looking for her and get that cleared up I tell her she was being searched for ...she of course is sorry yeah that's her I tell her she did nothing wrong ...she wants to shower I take her upstairs and get her clean clothes she smiles as she looks around the room she asks where the kids are I tell her and we.. can drive up there tomorrow she smiles nodding yes I tell her after her shower we will call them ..I have so many calls to make I do send out a group text to all involved letting them know she's home and safe then call detective Adams ....my baby is home . @@@@@@@@@@@@@@@@@@@@@@@@@@@ He's in the kitchen that's where I find him after my shower getting food, I go in and hug him from behind he feels so good his body against mine he turns around and hugs me "I made you grilled cheese I know it's a favorite of yours " I smile up at him " it is thank you " we go sit at the table I tell him about Diane she let me sit there writing , I was still confused about things when I got there but writing helped so much she brought me home after her shift which was so sweet it was out of her way I offered her what money I had left for has she would not take it he said he wants to go see her and thank her for bringing me home and keeping me safe .. the kids are sleeping but we can drive up in the morning I can't wait to see them and talk to them what they went through my heart aches for them I miss them so much ...apollo sits by me while I eat he's such a sweet dog I missed him and those three spoiled cats " I know I'll need some time of therapy? Dr to help me with more but not going back there " he shakes his head no " no sweetheart we will find you one you are staying here where you belong " I tear up he stands up and pulls me into him I hold him to me remembering his body against mine , his hands , his face his scent it's all there my Bri I reach up and place my hands on his chest and kiss him his lips are so soft I remember these lips I pull away " Bri do you want to go upstairs?" He winks at me and leads me upstairs he looks at me standing by our bed he moves closer and moves my hair from my forehead a gesture I remember him doing a lot " I love you my Mia " I move his hand to my lips that I'm holding and kiss it " I love you my Bri " after laying down together he kisses my whole face then works his way to my neck I love when he does that ..I reach up and kiss the crook of his neck he moans it turns me on I want him inside of me I move my hips up he pulls my pants and panties off and away I help him get his jeans off I lift his shirt over his head and stare at his chest I place my lips on it and kiss every inch of the exposed skin his moaning is making me crazy I pull my tshirt over my head and toss it his mouth kisses each one of boobs licking each nipple I can't take it anymore " Bri I need you in me please do " he smiles that Brian smile I love , he gets his boxers off both of us naked his body against mine I'm not dreaming this is real "baby I love you so much I missed you my girl I knew you'd come back to me" I nod if I speak I'll cry and I don't want to cry he moves inside of me the feeling is beyond incredible he fills me up he moves slowly in and out I feel every inch of him going out and pushing back in I'm already feeling my orgasm build then I feel his finger rubbing me my whole body tenses he's moving a little faster now I'm moaning his name he likes when I do that and I like he makes me do that I cum and grab him squeezing his arms " Bri ... ba.. babe" he moans loudly and cums I feel It in me he lays his head on my shoulder kissing it then looks up at me smiling kissing me he gently moves off of me laying next to me I turn into him laying my head on his chest " no one loves you like I do " I look up at him " and no one ever will "


	10. Three reasons

Driving up with Bri to go see our kids he told his mom everything but we want to surprise the kids I love the drive up here it's serene and peaceful a lot s been going on in my life lately I welcome the drive I'm so excited to see the kids poor kids have been thru so much and Bri told me they all handled it pretty well our babies , his hand holds mine as he drives resting it on the counsel in our SUV , I love how his hand fits perfectly in mine and mine in his "we should plan a family vacation I wanna take one with our family before the tour anywhere you wanna go babe " " let's do that bri time with just us and the kids ..maybe South Carolina again I love it there we had such a good time on Hilton head the house we rented on the beach " he nods " then that's where the Quinn's are going we can get dates coverage for the store , and our furry babies ...I did love it there glad to go back " I lean over and kiss his cheek ,that scruffy bearded cheek I love him so much .  
@@@@@@@@@@@@@@@@@@@

All three are happy to see her but not sure what to say maybe wondering why she's here Max hugs me around my waist " daddy papa took me fishing this morning we got up it was still dark outside we caught three fish!!" " buddy that's pretty good just you two some days me and you're uncles went fishing with you're papa and didn't even get one fish ,course cause you're uncle Danny could never stop talking " my dad laughs and nods his head Landon goes by Mia " how are you ?" He stares at her she looks at me then smiles " I'm good Landon Honey how are you? " he looks at her then me then her again he can tell something is different " Landon I've remembered so much since yesterday and Amelia...Max I'm feeling better I can remember you're dad and you three my loves Landon Micheal Quinn loves baseball , you're number is 2 on you're jersey you're favorite food is chicken parmigiana only if I make it , Amelia Margaret you my little girl love to dance and you want to be a professional dancer , and you and I cuddle on the couch every Tuesday to watch " this is us " and Max my baby Max Joseph Quinn you little man loves batman and soccer you're jersey number is also a 2 cause you wanted to be like you're big Brother..I remember when every one of you were born , all the little details, I love you three so much " Landon starts to cry she pulls him into her hugging him Amelia walks over crying , she pulls her into them ..max is still hugging me he looks up at me " daddy mommy is back I knew she'd be back!" I smile and kiss the top of his head he gets in on the hugging action she's got all three of them surrounding her ..I've been picturing this in my head . ..and it's real now my heart could burst ...we've got her back . @@@@@@@@@@@@@@@@@@@@@@@ Two weeks have passed Mia goes to see a brain therapist it's called twice a week she will not remember some things but he met with me and talked about how the kids and I can help her and we do , they are loving on her more than usual and before it was a lot they are so happy I see the happiness in thier eyes which makes me a happy dad ..I'm headed to do an interview for our U.K. Tour meeting the guys there at the radio station in the city ,Mia is with HEnry our assistant manager at the store , once I get there we are all four sent up we meet the radio hosts popular radio station in the city we talk ...joke around about what we do now and about the tour, and how a USA tour is also in the works ...it's all great till the one thing I said I wouldn't talk about don't ask me...comes up Mia the asshole DJ has the nerve to ask me about what happened to her the accident I shake my head no sal says " that's a subject no one here is going to talk about so let's move along " you would think that was enough to shut him up.. nope he keeps prying asking questions. .even thinks joking about her memory loss is funny that's it I throw the headphones to the ground and tell him get up yeah I'm gonna punch him in his stupid face the guys get up headphones off ,they go to commercials the DJ starts yelling how I broke the fucking headphones ..." fuck you and you're show here ( I go into my wallet and throw down two 50 dollar bills ) there buy new headphones and then shove em up you're ass I fucking told you my wife was off limits asshole go fuck your self !" And with that I leave I hear Joe yelling at him..it was a dick thing to do I look back as I wait for the elevator sal holds up his finger for me to wait for them I do I'm so fucking mad .. Mia is no ones business but mine!


	11. What's Important

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> **sexual content ahead **

The kids didn't have school today so I took them all to the farmers market and a movie then lunch I had such a great time with them like I remembered the four of us ,although we missed Bri I enjoyed having this time to just me and them I still feel like the days I missed with them I want to make up for ...they are each having a friend over this Friday afternoon so we head home after they help Carry the bags in I prep dinner since I'm cooking for thier friends too , Bri texted he will be home by dinner , my sweet Bri . Once the kids friends are over they are all off doing their own things I start making the salad Bri comes in wrapping his arms around me from behind and kisses the side of my neck I shiver...I turn around and press my lips against his I smell his aftershave mmmm I love that " how's my girl?" I yawn " little sleepy but good" just then he kisses me "hi dad(Amelia and her friend Samantha walk in) " he looks at them both "hello princess, hey Sam how are you honey?" she nods shyly at him " I am good how are you Mr Quinn?" he smiles at her " well I'm hungry and maybe need a nap, but I am good " she smiles and looks at him Amelia shakes her head she gets them drinks from the fridge then head upstairs, I kiss him again then finish up the salad, he stays next to me watching me I look at up him "can I help you with something?" he grins "yeah but there s like 6 kids in this house so ...maybe later?" he wiggles his brows I grin and kiss that face I love " I am in Mr Quinn" he nods winking at me like a fool, Max and his buddy Joey come in "hi dad, mom is dinner almost ready? I smell food smells good we re hungry" Brian looks at them both" how much money you two have? its 9.95 for kids to eat here tonight" they look at him like what? then start laughing "daddy you are funny so funny.." I tell them about 5 min and let the others know please they take off , he shrugs " can I help with anything?" I shake my head yes " we need two extra chairs at the table please " he goes to get them set em up all 4 boys come in I set all the food down , Landon's friend Josh is so sweet he offers to help me I thank him and tell him sit and eat , then go see where the girls are I go to knock on the door I hear Amelia say "my parents have always been that way Sam, I mean ever since I can remember , I am ...geez sorry you're parents well have not a great relationship" I hear Sam sigh "I am used to it Amelia, my Dad is just so mean to my Mom and she just takes it I hate it, the names he calls her and puts her down, I can't see why she takes it? I mean I would , will never let someone call me those name and treat me like that I have never even seen him kiss or hug her" my heart hurts for this little girl , wow .."it s cool to see you're dad , like loves you're mom, I wish my dad treated my mom as good as you're dad does you're mom.." "I do too Sam...I know it stinks for you , I ....just am sorry" I wait a moment then knock letting them know dinner is ready, my heart hurting for Sam and her mom, that's not way to live. @@@@@@@@@@@@@@ I join Mia in our room, Landon and Max are in Landon's room watching a movie, Amelia is showering, Mia is sitting in her chair reading I lean down unbuttoning my shirt and kiss her she puts her book down and pulls me closer I kneel on the chair she runs her hands thru my hair I lay half on her moving my lips to her neck , she moans my name God I love that " Bri knock..door" I sigh and move off of her "come in which child of ours is it ? " Amelia peeks in her hair in a towel from her shower , "um...can ..I talk you both?" I nod and pat the end of then bed she sits next to me"well I was just going to talk to you Dad, but I want Mom's input too...(she looks at both of us) Sam was telling me about her parent's..I mean I have been over there and I kinda knew but...it's really bothering me " I put my arm around her "sweetheart you can tell me and you're Mom anything" she nods "I know dad...her dad is SO mean to her Mom he calls her so many names, like bad ones, and mean and her Mom just takes it, I mean why is he like that ? I know not all parent's get along and some you know are not even married and kids get put in the middle of that it's just sad to hear that and like why does she let him? I would never let someone that I was with or married to talk to me like that " "cause you are a smart girl who knows it's wrong and disrespectful to talk to people you love, that way, I would never let anyone treat you that way Amelia, I ...don't know why he calls her names and is mean to her, it's a shame that Sam has to hear and see it" she looks at Mia "mom you would never let happen would you ?" she shakes her head no " no I would not, I have dated a few men who said unkind things, and it hurts it does, I don't know why her Mom takes that, but I don't know the whole story...you're dad , is the sweetest man I know, he respects me and loves me, we do disagree of course , and argue but not once , has he ever been cruel and that's the truth , learn from that honey, find a man like you're dad , who will treat you like you deserve, as for Sam...it' s good she has a friend like you to help her " I see her smile at Mia, then she looks at me " Dad thank you for being you, you are the best Dad and a great husband, I am so lucky you are my dad " that hits me right in my heart I hug her to me and kiss her head " Princess I am lucky you are my daughter, love you baby girl" I feel her hug me tighter " I love you too dad" she get up kisses my cheek then kisses Mia ,goodnight she says then goes I look at Mia" he sounds like a real jerk" she nods and gets up from her chair and sits next to me on the bed "he is met him at a birthday party , he was not happy to be there and told his wife hurry up fatass I have a game to watch and she just went in and got Sam , he stood outside the ice skating rink I wanted to punch him when I walked by him" I shake my head "see the sad thing is, Sam could end up with someone like that, a crying shame" she nods in agreement , I pull her back onto the bed with me she lays on me smiling " I am the sweetest man you know? "she tilts her head " my God Bri, yes you were before my accident, I mean what you did for me, honey , you think every husband would do that?" I look at her, "I would hope so...if they really love like I do they would" She smiles her eyes light up she moves down my body kissing her way to my waist ,unbuckles my belt kissing my stomach she unzips my jeans her mouth kisses above my boxers "baby lift up so I can get you naked " I lift she pulls my jeans off then away her warm breathe is on my thigh her hands reaching up rubbing my chest l feel her move her tounge licks the head of my cock feels so great "Bri you want my mouth on you? I say yes she goes down then up then repeats it " Bri do you like when I put my mouth on you ?" I moan yes " she licks me up then down oh God she's fucking amazing " Bri remember the first time I sucked on you ?" I nod and say in a raspy voice " I do it was in my bed you knelt on the floor I sat on the edge of my bed god I picture it in my mind a lot " she sucks on me then and licks the tip fuck this is sweet torture " the first time I ever did that and I loved doing it to you " I look down at her she's looking up at me " I love that you know I do makes me feel fucking special " " you are Bri , I knew there wasn't anything I would not do to you or for you , you're my Bri " I grab her hand " no other guy deserved that from you is what you are saying " she moves up my body her face by mine " nope but you , I wanted to taste in my mouth and I still do , I knew the moment I loved you I would give you anything including my body and I knew I wanted to satisfy you sexually " I stare at her she s so sexy " you Mia satisfy me in every way , the things you do to my body and what you want and let me do to yours " she kisses me hard then lowers herself till her hands are holding my thighs she moves one hand holding my cock I watch her mouth go down and up , down and up I throw my head back on the pillow my whole body tingles she's so good...she moves her mouth faster I'm gonna cum I tell her I feel her nod I moan and let go she grips my thigh digging her nails into it...oh my god I'm catching my breathe she moves up after a bit she licks her bottom lip I grab her face and kiss her I flip her so she's under me kissing her she grabs my back I move and kiss her neck looking down at her I can't fathom how much I'm in love with her I move her arms above her head holding me them there with one arm she writhes under me I move my hand down and open her legs my fingers find how wet she is from blowing me I fucking love that she moans when I stick my finger in her and rub her clit with my thumb " Bri...Brian oh fuck " she rarely curses during sex or at all I know I'm hitting her spot I'm not stopping " ooh my baby really likes this saying bad words" she nods not able to speak just moans and panting her face tells me don't stop ..." Brian ...I'm " she cums thrashing around moaning it's a beautiful site watching her cum I let go of her arms and push deep inside she gasps then whispers filthy sexy words in my ear fuck I cum hard and a lot ..panting I look down at her she smiles winks at me ...the Sexy Mia side just for me fuck I love her.


	12. Hearts

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> *sexual content ahead *

Landon's helping me do inventory at the store he's really good at it and it's my least favorite thing here to do , and I like the one on one time with Landon , we are all locked up, he turns the radio up he's a rock kid , makes me proud although that's all I played around him .. I watch him I don't know where 13 years went my first born , I was away filming a lot when he was little and touring , I always felt guilty, I still do like I missed a lot with him , Mia always sent me photos and would tell me what he was up to but I still felt bad ..him and I are close I take pride in that , when I became a dad I worried I would not be good at it ..I knew Mia would rock as a Mom and she does , I learned what kind of dad I wanted to be and with Mia at my side I know I'll never fail. We talk about video games , his baseball team, and other things , it's a great feeling as he gets older we have that type of relationship. We get home around 8, Amelia and Mia are watching Tv in our bed , Max is asleep next to Mia "there's my girls, and one little man...a tired one I see "Hi dad, yeah tired he is after bowling us three went roller skating he skated around that rink, look Mom and I could not keep up, he wore us out " Mia cracks up I lean over kiss Amelia's cheek , then Mia " well I know he had some fun, this little boy loves to skate he's good at it too, you're Mom had you all ice skating from when you were little, so roller after that is pretty easy , so they say I suck at both" "no honey you are not that bad" I grin "ha sweet woman you lie" I pick Max up and carry him to his room, put him in his bed, his hair is getting longer he wants it like mine, I move it out of his face and kiss him goodnight, he's such a sweet kid I look at him sleeping, he looks just like Mia , and he's funny like me, until I became a dad I would hear parents say oh he does this like me or she says this like me, I'd think that's not possible , yes it is and I love it. @@@@@@@@@@@@@@@@@@@@@@@@@@@@@@ Few days later I'm reading an email from my buddy in LA he' was my manager when I was doing IJ he's flying into NY this Thursday and wants to catch up and tell me about a project he's got going on I set up a time and place ..I clean up some other emails I hear Amelia calling me I call back in the office she comes in setting her backpack down " how was you're day princess?" She sighs " ok until Sam told me her dad won't take her to the father daughter dance this Friday " " won't ? Or can't ?" She shakes her head no " he told her he's not taking her he has better things to do (her eyes fill up with tears) she is so hurt she cried when she told me , I feel so bad for her "(she wipes the tears from her face ) my heart would break if you said that to me, I know you never would but it's sad " my poor kiddo , even worse poor Sam what a dick she has for a dad " and she has a dress , she feels so bad about herself like she has no worth that's what she told me dad , it's awful she's my best friend and I can't even help her " she's crying more now I stand up and hug her I don't understand how he can say that to her she wipes her face on her sleeve "she felt bad cause she thinks it's gonna ruin my time at the dance, she's so nice dad " I have an idea "Amelia I have an idea but it's up to you , do you think she'd like to come with us? I would take her too so she can to and I'll have two sweet girls to take" her eyes light up she smiles and hugs me around my waist " dad yes you are the best !! Thank you I love love you so much !!" I Kiss the top of her head "should you're mom ask her mom ? I mean before you ask her? Or?" " I'll text her and tell her and say Mom will call you're mom ok? It'll make her so happy dad you are the best !" With that she grabs her bag and runs up the stairs I exit out of my email and hear the rest of my loves are home "hi daddy guess what? Mommy got pulled over by a policeman she ran a red light!!" I look at Mia Landon says " just throw mom under that bus max " " what bus? Huh ?" Landon laughs shaking his head Mia looks at me " it was still yellow and I told him that " she s so cute all defensive " how much is the ticket?" Landon smirks " oh mom didn't get a ticket officer Jake gave her a warning oh...and asked her for a date " I raise my eyebrows " he did not Landon " " uh he said " here s your driver s license back Mia Quinn , have you tried that new sushi place on 42nd street " she looks at him then me "that's not ...ok enough do you have homework or something?" he smiles then goes upstairs Max looks at me" I don't like sushi" "me either buddy it's gross " he takes an apple from the table and goes to do his homework I walk over and stand by her smiling she looks up at me" what?" I try not to laugh I fail "so he wanted to take you out for sushi huh? he did not notice the ring on you're finger Mrs Quinn? what did you say when he asked you ?" "I said my husband is not a fan of sushi " I nod " good answer honey" she shakes her head and reaches up kisses me and goes about putting grocery's away I tell her about what Amelia told me and what I want to do "Brian Michael Quinn you are just the sweetest man " I get another kiss, this one is longer I pull her into me loving the coconut lotion she smells like she moves her lips to the side of my neck I moan into her ear my god I love when she does that I press her into the center island and feel her body against mine her hands are under my shirt rubbing my chest "um hello parents?"we stop Amelia is standing there " Mia clears her throat "hey honey what's up?" uh I am ..I move Mia infront of me she knows why she giggles " Dad I told Sam you would take her too and she's SO excited , Mom can you call her mom? and talk to her sam said her mom said she can go with us " Mia nods her head " I will call her in a few minutes and I am glad she can go " "me too thanks again Dad you are THE best" she goes back upstairs Mia laughs more "you laughing at my situation? (I point at my crotch) she laughs even harder , making me laugh she looks at me " I can ..help you out Mr Quinn want to join me in the pantry?" I grab her hand and take us there closing the door she attacks my lips grabbing at my shirt , she pulls my pants down and her hand goes into my boxers I throw my head back and moan I help her get her jeans down and panties I have to be in her I reach down pulling her jeans and panties off I lick her pussy on the way up she moans I grab her around her waist pick her up so she can wrap her legs around me just as I move deep inside her we hear max calling she looks at me finger over her lips " she tells him we are fixing something in the pantry he comes and stands outside the door " oh ok ..what's broken?" She smiles " a shelf what did you want honey?" "Can I have another apple I will still eat dinner I'm hungry ". " Course you can " he says ok we can hear him go she whispers " fill me up Bri " I hold her ass and move out then in she moans into my neck I pump her harder she's squeezing my shoulders I'm going to explode in her I feel it and cum I'm so deep in her fuck my body shudders she smiles and kisses me I slowly put her down she goes to pick her jeans up I pull my boxers up and grab her from behind push her against the shelves kneel down and hold her legs apart I lick her pussy she moans I feel her hands in my hair tugging I gently suckle her clit she braces herself with her hands on my shoulders " bri ...ooh my Bri " her legs are shaking I suction my lips on her clit she yanks my hair hard I taste her as she cums her low moaning her legs shaking I love it I kiss each thigh then stand up she's breathing hard I smile and wink at her she kisses me "so much better than sushi " I grin damn right it is my girl . @@@@@@@@@@@@@@@@@@ Sitting across from Alec after we eat we ordered more drinks " Brian I've got a pilot I've been writing for TV it's a sitcom about a married couple three kids (he hands me a portfolio) I'd like you to read it Brian tell me what you think the preface on the first page " I read it and chuckle to myself it's good " Alec this is funny , you pitched it yet to a network?" He nods " yep TBS wants it " congratulations man that's great buddy " he nods "thanks it'll be even better with you in it " I look at him like what ? " Brian I want you to play the role of the dad you are perfect for it , I mean I wrote it with you in mind" I'm taken a back me? A sitcom ? I don't know " Bri it would be a hit I it's you and I have a few lined up to come in and read for the wife part and three kids will you think about it?" " I ..we would film in LA? My family is here , my business " he nods " I know but maybe Mia will wanna move to LA ?" I shake my head " our kids have thier lives here ". " Ok I get that you could film during the week be home on weekends and even extend the weekend and we don't film in the summer think about it Brian , the network wants it the pay is really good and you , I can see loving it talk to Mia Bri , take the script home ". I am excited about it and flattered he thought of me but away from Mia and the kids that long? I just don't know .


	13. Decisions

I'm waiting for Amelia to come down Mia's helping her get ready I'm looking forward to taking my princess and Sam to the dance , I haven't talked to Mia about LA , the show we are going out tomorrow night I'll talk to her then , I hear her coming down I get up from the couch, she looks beautiful Mia put her hair up her dress is a dark pink she's just my sweet princess "Amelia you look beautiful " she beams I lean down kiss her cheek "thanks dad you look handsome nice suit" I smile at her and Mia "thanks sweetheart and here (I put her corsage on her wrist she looks at it smells it) "so pretty thank you " I wink at her and Mia " ok picture time then off you two go" Mia gets our picture s I take one of her and Amelia "babe send me those please " she nods "Just you have fun and Amelia I love you and love you my Bri " she kisses us both bye "love you Mia " she kisses me again "love you too my Bri" I pull into sams driveway we get out her mom is at the door "hello Brian thank you so much for taking Sam it means so much to her and me" I nod "it's my pleasure she's a sweet kid " Amelia sees her and they hug "well hello Sam you look very pretty and this (I take her corsage out and put it on her wrist ) is for you" she smiles "thank you so much Mr Quinn it's so pretty smells good too " "you're welcome honey " her mom takes pictures of the girls then of all three of us I give her my cell number let her know about when we'll be home then we go they are so excited it's good to see especially for Sam . Once we get there they have a professional photographer taking pics I take one with my girl then all three, I look at Sam" Sam honey wanna take one me and you ?" She smiles and nods We take it, I pay for the picture s while I'm writing down my info on the form Sam Taps my shoulder I turn she's holding out a ten dollar bill " that's for our picture " "I've got it honey you put that back in you're purse " "thank you Mr Quinn" I smile at her , Amelia takes my hand "dad let's dance " I laugh " now I'm no that good so remember you love me " they both laugh I take them out and have fun after a bit they are dancing I go to the refreshment table I talk to a few dads I know , it's a nice dance my Amelia is having fun and Sam is too , a taller guy comes up to me "hey Brian Quinn " I nod "Frank Murphy my daughter Sara is friend s with Amelia " I nod "nice to meet you" " I see you brought Sam" I nod "her dad couldn't make it " he looks at me "yeah ? Huh I wonder why ?" I shrug "don't know just was happy to take Sam with us" "he's a real piece of shit , Sara was on the same softball team with Sam he'd yell mean stuff to her tell her she sucked I almost punched him once ,he was banned from the games I along with the other parents were quite happy " he really is a pos but I'm not commenting out of respect for Sam , he talks a bit more than leaves "you are the sunshine of my life "comes on Amelia walks over smiling I take her hand and out to dance she loves this song it's hers Mia always sang it to her as a baby and beyond I twirl her around then sway with her I can slow dance at least "dad am I the sunshine of you're life?" I nod "everyday my girl ,you know you being my only girl ..I have a soft spot in my heart for you ,I love all three of you the same , but you're my little girl no matter how old you get princess " She hugs my waist I hear her say I love you dad we continue dancing ,I think about when she was little , about LA ,about a lot. @@@@@@@@@@@@@@@@@@@@@@@@@ I watch Bri order our drinks at the bar while we are waiting for our table he brings our drinks over "thanks baby " he kisses my cheek ,date night and Italian food I love one on one with my Bri after we are seated in our boothe he moves his arm around my shoulder rubbing my arm" wanna kiss me?" I do I love his lips " I remember the first time we kissed " he smirks " so do I " I look at him " I love you remember too .." he nods " our third date after the Yankees game in the parking lot after we ate at Redmond 's ,right by you're car I think we made out for like half an hour your hand on my chest " I smile at the sweet memory..."you're arms around me I was up on my tip toes you know the height thing " he laughs ..."Mia when I met with Alec Thursday he ..well he asked me to be in a sitcom he wrote ...playing a husband and dad well like my real life ..TBS wants it " his face is full of excitement "honey really a sitcom on tv wow ! What's the story ? What is you're character?" "About a stand up comedian who was very popular and kinda let that fall to the wayside to raise his three kids with his wife " I nod " well is this something you are considering? Do you want to do it? It sounds interesting honey " he sighs deeply " I do and I don't ..um it's filmed in LA " I just stare at him LA ? "How ...I mean move there? I don't know Bri the kids have thier lives here and we have the store and family , friends " he nods " I know and I wouldn't expect us to uproot the kids " my heart sinks I know what he's about to say and I don't like it one bit. .but how can I say this? It's a great opportunity and the look on his face when he told me " I would work in LA and he home on the weekends and sometimes a long weekend plus we don't film in the summer months ..it would not be easy but I just don't know being away from you and the kids ...and so much would be on you're shoulders the kids the store " I think about all that but that's second to not having him here with us the kids would miss him terribly but they would want him to do this I think knowing it's something he wants ,for me I'm totally selfish I can't see him not next to me at night , being with him it's a hard reality to be faced with and yet ...I can't be the one who stands in his way ...my heart hurts and my head is full.


	14. Push and Pull

The rest of dinner was quiet ,now on the way home she's looking out the window "Mia talk to me tell me how you're feeling " nothing I sigh and keep driving , I turn the radio on it's too quiet in here after about ten minutes or so I hear she's speaking quiet "you remember this song Bri " I turn the radio up I wasn't paying attention "love of a lifetime " by firehouse an 80 s band first song we danced too and still do .."yes I do how could I not?" She's crying I pull into the nearest parking lot and park take my seatbelt off "Mia baby please don't cry I won't go " she takes a napkin from the glovebox wipes her tears " I can't let you do that ,I mean I won't be responsible for you missing out on this " I take her hand "look I haven't even talked about specific s with Alec I wanted to talk to you first , I'm not sure what the shooting schedule is , and when it starts " she looks in my eyes "you are my husband but so much more than that , you know that ..I just need time to adjust to this and if it's something you're going to do then we have to talk to the kids ...just we love one another and it sounds crazy ,maybe but I really love you I never have been one of those wives who wants her husband to leave her alone , or doesn't want them hanging around I genuinely like you ,you're person you next to how much I love you it's a lot , you are my...everything Bri and selfishly I want you with me ,with the kids but I don't want you to have a missed opportunity I just don't know " I nod I know it's a hard decision and it's emotionally draining " I love you and our kids ,it's for you all too I mean yeah I want to but the money is really good we could put it away ,kids college fund, I know they have one but this would add a lot to it and for our future " she nods wipes her face "I know that , just it's hard to think you'll be gone but ...I'm trying Bri I am " I squeeze her hand "that's all I ask from you " I hold her hand as I drive not sure about which road to take and I don't mean the drive home. @@@@@@@@@@@@@@@ Michelle just stares at me " keep waking or it'll stop counting you're time " I point at the treadmill next to mine as we work out she starts up again " he's really going to live in LA during the week?" I shrug " he's taking to Alec today about dates and how long so it's a strong possibility he's going to do the show " she frowns "I don't like it ..you know I love him and I love you we have been best friends for twenty years and I always tell you the truth (I nod ) it's not good for you're marriage,,let alone the kids will miss him especially Amelia she adores him "(I nod ) the love you two have ok I'd love , I mean I strive for that I know you , you can't be without him that long " I wanna cry " I will have to learn I mean other married people do that like business men , women who travel ,truck drivers " "yeah they do and they are not you or Brian and he's doing a tv show back into that spotlight that I know you do not miss sure he's still well liked, has fans but you know what it will be like ,and the store the kids all on you it's not fair Mia " I really wanna cry ,everything she said is true , I thought of some but her saying it out loud yeah , harsh but I love her and needed her to say it "he really wants this Michelle,how can I stand in his way? " she purses her lips " by standing infront of the door he's going to go thru" I turn the speed up on the treadmill and focus on that ,for the moment anyway. Later I'm upstairs putting away clothes in Max's room Bri comes in "how was you're workout?" "Good ..." " I talked to Alec (I look at him ) he said it would be Monday thru Thursday...for now so I'd be home Friday till Sunday at some point , no filming in March or July and august ..depending on if we get picked up for another season the days may change , I would go to LA in two weeks to table read my part , I have a condo they provide me with and it's more than I have originally thought per episode (he shows me on his cell the pay it's significant) his eyes are shining he looks like ...like when he filmed IJ there's no way I can fight this or Give him a hard time "ok well it'll be good and ..I'm proud of you bri " he hugs me tight "thank you Mia for standing by me I can't do this without you " no you couldn't I think part of me wants to cry , but I told him ok so I need to get in the right frame of my mind ,it's so hard . @@@@@@@@@@@@@@@@@@@@@@@@@@@@ They look at him then me then him Max talks first " daddy you'd live in California? But you live here with us " " buddy I'll still live here with you just be there four days a week ,then he home with you all three days and remember what I said three months in the year no filming " he looks at me I smile at him I knew they'd all wait for my reaction and facial expressions I'm hiding it well I think "well I'd miss you daddy ...but ..it's cool you'd be on TV again " Bri smiles at him Landon talks next " it's cool dad , you are a funny guy and sounds like the script is you , I mean I'd miss you but we can FaceTime and Skype so that helps " Bri pats his shoulder "yeah we can and will I'll miss you like crazy ,it's a great opportunity for me and our family " ...Amelia tell me how you feel " she loves him so much this is hardest on her just ,the look on her face " well it's um...not something I'm thrilled about but .. I know you want to do this " she stops and looks down at her hands she does that when she's nervous and or upset just like her dad " Amelia honey look at me "(she looks up at him ) " we will talk every day honey and ..." (she stands up)"I know dad you don't have to tell me again I just .. can I go are you done?" He nods slowly she turns and goes upstairs, I knew she'd take this the hardest .


	15. Not So sure

I'm watching Brian talk to our two managers about him going to LA Pete has been here since we opened, Christopher for over a year now they basically run the store and we have four other employees, I will still come in but not every day since anything the kids need will be on me , honestly being here without Brian not something I even want to do. It's been two days since we told the kids ,Amelia hasn't been herself and it's hard to see ,the boys are ok I'm sure it's not easy for them but ...I'm worried about my girl ..After he's done he comes over "it's all set ,what you and I talked about last night ,I discussed with them " I nod " want to take the kids to dinner ?" " maybe, you and Amelia should just go, the boys and I can get pizza ,and they want to teach me how to play that new PS4 game you got them " he looks at me he's thinking " good idea I know she's been...well not herself ...I would like one on one so she can tell me her feelings ..I know she doesn't want me to go ...it's hard Mia " I think in my head I'm sure it is cause it feels awful to me. @@@@@@@@@@@@@@@@@@@@@@@@@@@ I knock on Amelia 's door she says come in she's sitting on her bed reading she looks up "hey dad what's up?" I sit by her "I would like to take you to dinner just us " her eyes light up "can we go into the city?" She loves to go into the city ,little Italy to be exact some of our favorite restaurants are there and shops she likes , her Italian roots Mia instilled thier heritage in them ,both sides I love it ,and taking her there " little Italy " " yes please " "ok baby girl I'll shower and be ready in like half hour?" She smiles and nods ,I love to see her smile I go to shower. We eat dinner at one of our favorite places , then shop in a few shops , it's nice to have one on one with her , we get gelato and sit outside at a table she's not eating but moving it around with her spoon she looks at me " say what's on you're mind princess " she starts to talk but doesn't look at me "it's not easy knowing you'll be gone to LA, I get the reasons why , I don't want you to feel bad and I don't mean to make you sad, it's like my best friend is leaving me .." my heart physically hurts " I know we will talk, text ,Skype and all that it's not the same , won't be the same but I'll be ok ..it's an adjustment that's what Mom says ..I just wanted to tell you how I feel is all " she looks up at me her sweet little face "I'm glad you told me how you're feeling,course I knew you were upset I ..am doing this for us and it's pretty cool you said it and understand it ...it's hard I know but always know this I love you Amelia you are my sweet girl , I'm proud of you all day every day that won't ever change " she nods takes some gelato, she gets up and hugs me around my neck " I love you dad and I am proud of you too" my heart is full. @@@@@@@@@@@@@@@@@@@@@@@@@ I'm listening to Brian tell me about his night as we sit on our bed it's sad to me that Amelia feels this way I mean , I knew it but when she says the words it's out there and real " you think I'm doing the right thing?" I look at him I hate this question and he's asked it more than once " I can't answer that it's not for me to say " his face scrunched "you know it would be nice if you'd tell me , I've asked you before and you give me the same response " now that makes me mad " well then stop asking me Brian cause that's my answer," he shakes his head and gets up I hate when he shakes his head at me and he knows it " you are being a complete jerk face , what's you're problem?" " I don't have a problem Mia I just wanted some support from you is that too much to ask?" Is he for real right now. ??? I stand up across the bed from him" are you serious??!! I gave you my support for LA what else can you possibly want from me??!!! Infact all I've done my whole life is support you're career and anything you do !! I gave up my work so you could do what you do" " oh ok like that was a hard decision Mia I make three times what you made , and even more as time went on so you act like it's a thing " I walk over to stand by him looking at him " it was a thing , I loved what I did!! And how dare you belittle it " he stares at me " great you loved what you did, so blame me for it, uh we had kids you were raising too so...that took precedence over anything else " ooh he's really ticked me off " yes in MY life it did " he throws his hands up " ok here it is I didn't help raise OUR children?? Ok a lot you did on you're own but I was there when I could be and you know it ". I just can't stand him right now " and what do you think it'll be like while you are in LA hmm oh I know me and three kids depending on me just me " " for fucks sake when I'm home you know I'll help !" I'm yelling now " what two days ? Flying back from LA is not a two hour flight " he yells " where is this coming from?? Now you tell me all this? What the fuck Mia!!!!" Ooh I am done " I'm done talking about it just forget it go film in LA , do what you want !!!!!" He screams the last part " great fucking great , thanks for this Mia I appreciate it so much "! Ugh " oh fuck you !" And with that I leave to sleep in the guest room I'm SO angry I cry , I'm angry and upset and just hate it .


	16. Tension with a capital T...

She did not sleep in our room, I was up half the night, I hear her downstairs it's Sunday she's making breakfast I get up and go downstairs, max is helping her cook, Landon is reading at the table , Amelia smiles at me " morning Dad " Landon looks up " hey dad" then back to his book, Max smiles at me" hi daddy we are making breakfast you hungry daddy? " I nod and sit by Amelia " I am buddy and thank you " Mia won't even look at me she sets the plates down and pours OJ for the kids, then sits at the other end of the table with her cup of tea, Amelia keeps looking at me then Mia, Landon starts eating but keeps reading so he's not noticing this , I guess and I prefer it "daddy Sunday , funday what are we doing today?" I think "hmm it's a nice day out too...should we go race boats in the water? we can try out you're kite you got for you're birthday, what do you think?" he claps his hands" I love it..yes! mommy can we? " she smiles and nods at him "sure honey, Landon , Amelia sound good?" Landon looks at her "Sure mom, good with me" she looks at Amelia "I am in " she goes back to her cup of tea and has yet to look at me, that's fine with me she wants to act this way, Ieave for LA tomorrow night for 2 weeks, so..maybe she will talk to me before that, who knows. The kids finish up and Amelia clears the table, Landon and Max go upstairs to change , Mia goes into the laundry room , Amelia is loading the dishwasher I go into the laundry room "so are you not talking to me today?" she looks up from the basket of clothes "what do you want me to say to you ?" "I don't know anything? it's better than this silence from you " she push's hair from her face and looks at me" I don't want to fight with you , especially since you leave tomorrow night , so let's just enjoy the day with the kids" I sigh " so you are just still mad at me and we are putting an act on for the kids?" she slams her hand on the dryer "that's what you got out of what I just said, are you being a dick on purpose? or is it just coming to you naturally ? " wow ok then " ok then " and I walk out go upstairs to change , great way to head off to La Mia. thanks a whole fucking lot.  
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Landon comes to sit by me as I take pictures of them flying the kites "hey my mom what's up?" "taking some pics honey, you hungry yet? we are going to eat lunch later but I have granola bars" he gets one and starts to eat it, "you ok mom?" I nod "I am honey...." he looks at me , his dad's twin and the older he gets the more of Bri's features "Mom you know I will help while dad is gone, I mean I am 13 I can help with Max and stuff" moments like this let me know we are raising him right "I know you will help and I appreciate it a lot Lando" "I heard you and dad last night, (I am sure he did how could he not) I know its upsetting to you , you will miss him a lot mom, and maybe you know that's why you argued cause you , two rarely argue" I am sorry he heard it and if the other two did, I am sure Amelia was up " it happens me and you're dad will figure it out (I kiss his cheek) smart boy he is . As we pile into the SUV I move my hand to his thigh and rest it there, he looks down at my hand and then me...I wait for him to touch my hand, or say something, after a few minutes when he does nothing I move my hand away like I burned it and look out the window , fine ok got it .  
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I get into bed, the kids had fun today, Max was asleep before 8 I carried him up and put him to bed, said goodnight to Landon and Amelia , Mia has her back to me she's not asleep we barely spoke all day I lay there looking up at the ceiling , "I haven't even started to film and it s come between us , this is not what I wanted " she rolls over and looks at me "no? well its not what I wanted either " she sits up so do I , "mia we talked about it, you said ok do it and you now...why are you doing this? we talk , we always talk so why are you so mad at me? you had how many times to tell me please do not go " "sure Brian I will tell you that , cause that would be great, I would not do that to you " I look at her like wtf "no? ok but you will treat me like this and be mad at me about it, it can't be like this Mia, we can't ..you can't be mad at me for doing the tv series" she shakes her head at me "so you are taking it, you're mind is made up, you were thinking of it all along,. and I know we told the kids but you said you were going to LA to talk to them" I feel like I am in another universe "Mia are you ...yeah to discuss the timeframes, to look at the storylines, my pay..are you sure you know that I am talking about ?" she gives me a mean look " you know what Brian , I ...you go...you stay there and have fun, learn you're damn role..meet the fucking actors and have a blast just leave me alone!"  
she lays down her back to me again no this is not...I roll he over " no we are not doing this you talk to me , we have to figure this out , this is not us, this is not how we handle things " she looks deep into my eyes , she looks like Mia, not angry like she has been I lean down and kiss her lips she kisses me back she moves her hands to my face holding it she sits up a little kissing me hard I lay on her and feel her under me , makes me so hard I run my hand down her side she's panting, I move my lips to her neck she moans I push my hand into her panties...my cell goes off ringing , I ignore it , it stops rings again I remember Alec said he was calling me tonight " wait baby I have to get that " she looks at me like are you kidding I mouth I'm sorry then get up to take the call it's Alec we talk everything is set I put my phone down lay back down she s covered up " Mia..." " the call was more important than me, than us Brian you couldn't call him back?? You've never done that ever .." " Mia come on no ..you are more ...us more important " she shakes her head " yeah just saw that Brian " " I give up fine ...you don't want to have sex ? Ok that's fine no fucking problem " she stares at me " I'll get used to it I'm sure " oh wtf !! That was ..I get up and go downstairs, why is this happening...this is not us this is not what I want my marriage to be ...she has to get over this and fast .


	17. You can take it with you

I'm driving the kids to school , I'll be picking them up too since I'm gone two weeks " kids you help you're mom while I'm gone " Landon pats my arm next to me in the front seat " dad we will " I look at Amelia in the rear view she smiles at me I wink at her, Mia went to work out I'm going to stop by the gym after I drop the kids off I see Sam walking along the sidewalk " Amelia it's Sam I'll pull over she can ride with us " I pull over Amelia calls her she waves but doesn't turn her head " Sam come on we will take you the rest of the way she stops walking and puts the hood up on her hoodie turns slowly " um it's ok I can walk " she wipes tears from her face something is wrong I pull over and park " stay here Amelia " I get out Sam puts her head down " Sam honey what's wrong ? " she shakes her head " it's ..ok Mr Quinn I can't I'm ok " I bend down " Sam look at me " she slowly picks her head up and I see what's wrong she has a black n blue mark a huge one under her right eyes that fucking pos " Sam what happened , where did that bruise come from?" She starts crying and her hands start shaking " honey it's ok I'll help you I promise you that " She keeps crying , both kids look concerned I hug her and rub her back " Sam honey I know you're scared to tell me but honey .." she looks at me " he will ..it'll be bad he'll hit my mom .. that's I was protecting my mom and I got hit , I'm supposed to say I fell " I feel anger " Sam honey I know it's scary and you're afraid , honey I can't let you go and not tell someone " she nods " I know but I don't know what to do " I pat her back hugging her " let's get you to school and talk to principal Brady and he's more than likely going to call the police honey (she cries more) it'll be ok I promise you " I walk her to the car by now I think my two have figured it out she gets in the back with Amelia, and Amelia puts her arm around her Landon looks at me I drive to the school and we park I tell my kids go to class hug them both and I'll pick them up after school, Amelia hugs Sam , Landon pats her shoulder I walk in with Sam ask to speak to the principal, we go back and I explain what transpired this morning Sam is sitting next to me looking at the ground, my heart breaks for this little girl , Mr Brady talks to Sam she tells him what she told me he asks has this happened to her before she says yes my god I wanna punch her dad in his stupid face, Mr Brady thanks me says he's going to talk to Sam for a few minutes if I can wait upfront I nod and go poor kiddo I text Mia what's going on and sit down after about twenty minutes I'm called back in , Sam looks so upset , he said he's contacted police and children's services Sam asks me not to leave her , I tell her I'll wait till they get here and they will help her , poor kid . @@@@@@@@@@@@@@@@@@@@@@@@@@@@@@@@@@@@@ I'm meeting Brian at the stanten island police station after I read his text after my workout, I called him he said they needed his statement officially about what Sam told him and when he saw her this morning I go in he's sitting in the lobby I lean down kiss his cheek sit by him " Brian honey where is Sam? Are you ok how awful " he nods " a lady from Childs advocate is with her here, they took my statement, the social worker wants to talk to me , sams mom is here two policemen walked her in she looked at me then away, how can that pos hit his wife and child? And Sam said it wasn't the first time , it's disgusting poor little girl and her mom " I nod hold his hand in mine he's such a good man , so sweet and caring , missing him is just in my heart and won't go away I sit , wait with him , he looks at me " I know there s unresolved issues between us and I know they are not going away before I get on my flight tonight but can we put it aside I don't wanna leave like this " my heart oh ..." I agree bri I don't want you to leave like this and I'm sorry for being mean you don't deserve that from me " " no I deserve some of it " I hold his hand in mine " no Bri you never do and I'm truly sorry I'm going to miss you and I'm turning that into anger and that's not fair to you at all forgive me?" He nods " Mia I'll always forgive you and honey it's ok I understand why you're ..acted that way I'm going to miss all of you a lot .. and once filming starts ...I won't be with you , you guys are my four ," my god I'm a fool , I was so upset about him going , his side of it was negligent on my part , yes we all will miss him but we have each other , he won't have any of his four with him ...I feel like a bitch I can't be sorry enough I wrap my arm around his back " I love you my Bri , so much so damn much. @@@@@@@@@@@@@@@@@@@@@@@@@@@@@@@@@@@@@@@@ Long day but home with the kids and Mia before the car service picks me up to go , Max is sitting on my lap Landon and Amelia are by me on the couch Mia in the chair we talked about Sam earlier so Max didn't hear , Sam went to her aunts house until the investigation is over , Amelia s upset it happened but releaved she's not in that house tonight, " daddy mommy said she'll take video of my championship game so you can see it, daddy make sure you watch it ok?" " buddy I'll be waiting for that video you will do great remember cross that soccer ball at the net , that's you're trick move " he nods and lays his head on my shoulder I hold him close hold his little hand , he falls asleep I carry him to bed kiss him " sweet dreams baby boy , love you " I walk out go to kiss Amelia and Landon bye both in thier rooms ,after I join Mia downstairs she hugs me tight and kisses me " kids ok?" I nod " not sure I am, man I'm going to miss them , I just don't know I know it's two weeks and I've been away longer I guess cause this is what it'll be like " " and it'll be ok baby , we can do this Bri and you are going to do an amazing job and I'm excited to see you're work, you're humor ..you're so talented baby , I love you with all my heart and Quinn " I feel a lump in my throat hold her body against mine I inhale her scent her coconut lotion , her shampoo that smells like lavender, my heart is hers no matter what ...she owns it and I wouldn't want it any other way.


	18. Welcome to LA

I'm sitting in my hotel room more like suite it's pretty fancy call me impressed the Weather has been gorgeous I'm loving the sun. I'm getting ready to FaceTime my four , I've been here three days and it's been going great my audition was spot on that's what the director told me, and I like it better than I thought I would , I mean I was excited to try it and I'm really in love with being on a sitcom. I got to see a lot of the set , I met the team of writers and two out of the three child actor s that are playing my kids, the third one hasn't been picked yet , they are close to choosing the actress who will play my wife , they are wanting to get this all done so we can go home early, catch is they want us all back here in two weeks to shoot the pilot, it was bumped up by three weeks . Which means when I get home we are planning a family vacation I want to spend time with them away from our daily routine, miss em like crazy. @@@@@@@@@@@@@@@@@@@@@@@@@@@@@@@@@@@@@@@@ I'm walking out of target with Max carrying two bags and holding his hand I unlock the jeep and open the door for Max to get it when a man yells my name I grab Max s hand and look I see Sams dad coming toward s me I pick up Max " you do not come one more step near me Doug back off " he's yelling at me I shove Max in and lock the door and grab my phone " I'm calling 911 get away " he stops by the bumper of the jeep my finger is on the button " you and your fucking husband need to stay outta my life you got that ?" I walk to the front of the jeep to get in and leave but he s already at my door " get away from my door and me and go away" he gets in my face I hear Max saying my name crying " you bitch what goes on in MY family is my business, you watch you're back cause I'm warning you I'll make you're life miserable " " go fuck yourself and don't you ever threaten me again you piece of shit " his eyes glaze over I'm scared but I won't let him see that he stares at me , looks into the jeep then walks away I jump in locking the doors max throws himself into my arms he's crying so upset " honey I'm fine it's ok look at me Max " he looks at me I wipe his face " I'm ok baby boy , he's gone and I'm going to call the police it's ok " he hugs me " mommy he was ....I thought he was going to hurt you " I shake my head no" I wouldn't let that happen " he sniffles " I miss my daddy " I hug him to me and think me too buddy me too" after I filed a police report and got home the kids were FaceTime with Brian Max joins them I tell max I'll tell daddy but Brian can see he was upset and keeps asking till max blurts it out and gets again, Landon and Amelia look at me , Brian's mad , I join the FaceTime " I'm fine Brian , I filed a police report I'm ok, really " the older two ask me but Max fills them in I can see Bri ,he's so mad I text him we can two later I see him read the text he tells the kids it's ok then they talk about other things after I tuck them all in and kissed each one I call Bri he says he's face timing me so I go into the bedroom , Brooklyn cat is sleeping on the bed I sit by her and pick up his video call " Mia I'll fucking bash his face in , who the fuck does he think he is? Threatening you calling you names? I'm going to kick his fucking ass , if he would have hurt you Mia " my man ..." honey I know you're upset but I'm ok and the police have a report " he sighs" you were scared I know it" " I had to be sure Max was not in any danger , I was ok" well I'm lying but he feels bad enough and I won't make it worse he looks at me " I'm sorry I wasn't there " I Shake my head no " Bri don't do that please , it's over with " he smirks a little "my girl does not take that shit " I laugh " you know that's right Mr Quinn " we talk a little more and say love you , after we hang up I miss him even more than yesterday, easier as the days go by? Nope . @@@@@@@@@@@@@@@@@@@@@@@@@ I'm talking with Alec the next day all the cast is picked we are all going to meet up for lunch , he and I get into the car provided and off we go , once there the introduction s are done , the three kids who play my kids are all from Disney shows or commercial s the girl Devin I've seen before watching with Max the other two I've never seen, my wife is an actress who's had smaller roles in sitcoms and one drama I've seen her before on TV she's Kate Jackson we talk and seems like we hit it off , Alec was sure we would we read together three times , I'm glad they picked her the other woman and I didn't seem to connect with , Kate is divorced with two teenage boys she lives in San Francisco, I tell her about Mia and the kids she listens intently , she asks if I have any pictures I show her one of all of us at a devils hockey game earlier from this year " they are precious, you're two older ones are all you , Max is it? Looks like his very pretty mom " I smile and thank her for her kind words , we talk about anything and everything, we then go and talk to our " children " after we all seem to get acquainted we are told they are shooting promo photos in the morning to be on set by 7 to meet with wardrobe, after we resume talking the kids go it's me and Kate talking " it'll be hard being away from you're family been there Brian , I moved them from where we lived in Tennessee. ..when I was on my cbs show but by then it was too late my ex was done with me never being home , my boys started resenting me being gone .. it's a rough road , but I hope you will handle it, seems like you're wife is behind you that's half the battle my ex was bitter at the start " " I'm sorry for all that for you Kate , I do have a pretty great wife she has always supported my career " she nods and smiles then asks me about my impractical jokers days and we just talk like old friends.


	19. Daddy's Home

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> *sexual content ahead *

I just keep hugging him I missed him so much I can't touch him enough ,he holds me close to him whispering in my ear " I missed you my Mia" I melt his low voice in my ear, his hot breathe on my neck, his cologne his body against mine , I play with his hair " Bri I am so happy you're home and the kids , so happy I thought Max would burst with happiness, Landon Mr Smiley, and Amelia, loving her daddy is home " he kisses my lips rubbing the small of my back "I love those kids ...felt so good being able to hug them and thier mommy who I missed especially at night....you know how I miss you next to me at night " I smile I know he hates it but it's nice to be missed by my husband, my love I twirl the ends of his hair in my fingers " make love to me " his eyes are so beautiful deep , brown, "whatever my baby wants , she gets " he envelopes me in his strong arms and moves me to our bed , he lays us down pressing his lips back onto my eager lips I moan into his mouth his kisses are warm, deep and slow his body covers mine , our clothes come off , his hand caresses my face so sweet and gently, down my side and back up ,his hand grabs mine and holds it then kisses me more , he moves down my body kissing all over then back up again kissing inbetween my thighs sending a jolt thru my body his face is by mine again he kisses my neck then I feel him deep inside of me , he's moving slowly, I reach up and tuck his hair behind his ears then run my hand along his scruffy beard , he gently kisses me rubbing his thumb along my cheekbone, those brown eyes locked into mine, oh this man " Bri...." he smiles " I know baby , I know" @@@@@@@@@@@@@@@@@@@@@@@@@@@ The condo in South Carolina is just as I remembered it, and the beach so gorgeous, the wind is just right for a slight breeze, the flight was delayed but all that's in the past now that we are here on vacation, the kids were so excited to come here, missing a week of school , they will have work to make up, but its so worth it and much needed for them to spend quality time with Bri, I go to join them on the beach bringing some snacks , I set them down, Landon and Bri are helping max build his sand castle , Amelia is dozing off on her towel, I kiss her forehead and sit by her , max is so intent on making the sand castle I love watching his little face so deep in concentration , I lay back on my towel and soak up the sun, listening to the ocean and my three boys talk, I am so content and happy , these are the moments I will think of when I am missing him , it really does help ... later in the evening we go out for dinner a sea side restaurant sitting outside is so lovely, after we order Bri leans forward by me and kisses my cheek , Max on the other side of Bri taps his arm " yes my son?" Max giggles " where's mine ?" Bri laughs and gives Max many kisses making him laugh more " daddy you're funny and that's why you're show will be good " he grins at him " thanks buddy I am hoping so " " dad it will be , you're funny and ya know as mom says so very handsome " he smiles at Amelia and shakes his head "dad when can we come see the set?" He looks at Landon and smiles I know he loves they want to see " you can come anytime so one weekend you all fiy over " " cool dad " talking continues into when dinner comes out and beyond after that we walk along the beach back to our condo the sun is starting to set the kids are collecting seashells, I'm holding hands with bri when he stops walking and faces me " baby I'm so glad we came here for the week , it's just what we all needed with me stating to film in a week and a half " I nod in agreement " promise me something " I look at him " anything Bri " " don't leave me " I look at him " leave you? As in?" He sighs " not be with me anymore , divorce me " that word sinks my heart I feel sick " honey I'm not going to leave you ...what's this . I mean how could you even think that? Brian you are my greatest love it may sound silly but you are, you are my Bri , I can't be without you " I cup his cheek and rub his beard he leans into my hand " bri no one loves me like you " he breaks Into a huge smile " and no one ever will " I wrap my arms around his neck and pull him to me and kiss those lips I love . @@@@@@@@@@@@@@@@@@@@@@@@@@@@@@@@@@@@@@@@ The sound of my phone buzzing wakes me wtf it's only 8:12 am here I look at the number see it's kate I sit up and talk softly so not to wake Mia " hey kate what's up?" " oh my ..Brian I'm so sorry I just realized I called you early I'm so sorry hope I didn't wake anyone I was excited to tell you our promo is out on tv I was siting up cause I couldn't sleep and bam our commercial. And some shots from the photo shoot you...we all look great it's exciting!!" " I will take a look once my family is up thanks so much kate " " anything for my "husband " we both laugh then I hang up I wrap my arms around Mia and kiss her naked shoulder I hear mmm then close my eyes her body is so warm I just want to Stay in this moment .


	20. TCB (taking care of business)

Home from vacation everyone is tan and happy , I leave next Monday I have four days at home with them I'll be in LA two weeks filming since we're just starting out , my four are coming out next weekend, which of course I'm very happy about " daddy look my hermit crab needs a bigger she'll see buster grew !" I look at buster sitting in the sand in his home Max made him " yeah he does buddy , ok we will go get him one today" cool I'm gonna tell sissy " off he goes to tell Amelia " dad will you take me for a haircut today? You think Maggie can fit me in?" " I'll send her a text and let you know buddy " he grins " thanks dad " " honey ?" " I'm in the kitchen " Mia walks in hair up smiling holding her iPad " I found the perfect color paint for our bathroom lowes has it want to go get it with me?" I smile " sure babe and while we're out Buster needs a new shell Max informed me and Landon wants a haircut if Maggie can fit him in " she smooches my cheek " we can get it all done then " and off she goes I get a text from Maggie she says she can take Landon today at four perfect I head up to let him know Amelia comes out of her room " hi dad can you or mom take me to Taylor's house later we are going to work on our history project " I think " sure uh we are heading out in like ten minutes all of us is that good?" She nods " yep I'll text her thanks dad " Busy day for the Quinn's this is the stuff I'll really miss may sound odd but it's the truth . @@@@@@@@@@@@@@@@@@@@@@@@@ Watching him with the kids is something I love, he's such a good dad and our kids adore him , he was so nervous about being a dad when I was pregnant with Landon , so convinced he would not do well , he surpassed those crazy assumptions he had about himself , I love this man so much and I'm going to miss him so much. " dad thanks for the froyo " he winks at Amelia " you are welcome princess and my two boys enjoying that yogurt " Landon smirks wipes his mouth " it was delicious thanks pops" max giggles and keeps eating , Bri winks at me " my children , my off springs , the fruits of my loins" " ewww dad!" Amelia makes a face " what's a loin? Like you're comedy daddy the tenderloin s?" Bri cracks up " no it's uh.. another name for you're thigh " max furrows his eyebrows " oh I have loins? " Landon laughs and laughs , Amelia is disgusted, " where was I ..oh yeah I'm taking you're mom out tomorrow night so you three are in charge of each other , well Landon s in charge but ..." Amelia nudges bri " I like the all in charge of one another better dad " they continue to laugh and joke I'm looking forward to some Bri time later . @@@@@@@@@@@@@@@@@@@@@@@@@@@@@@@@@@@ I head up to bed after making sure all three cats and one adorable dog are all taken care of, bri went up earlier to shower , I check on all three kids then go to our room, I hear Brian talking to someone he's sitting in the chair , hasn't showered yet he tells the person he's talking to hold on please , hey honey just going over some script changes " I nod and he goes back to his call I get pjs from my dresser and go in the bathroom to wash my face and change as I brush my teeth I hear him laughing, I walk out get in bed hoping he he s off the phone soon as I want his attention. I look around the lamps off I see it's 3:24 am I must have fallen asleep, I look over and Bri is next to me asleep, I wonder when he came to bed ...I run my fingers thru his hair and that makes me smile I love his dark gorgeous hair , no matter the length I love it , my eyes grow heavy and my Brian looks so content I won't wake him , I do have time before he leaves to jump his hot body. I wake up and kiss his face it's almost 7 in Sunday and I like to make them all breakfast, after I get up and brush my teeth I hear Bri s phone go off , it's so early he doesn't budge so I mute it I see two missed calls from Kate .. the actress who plays his wife , kinda early to be calling him ...but whatever I go to start breakfast and really , really try to not that bother me ..I fail miserably..dammit ! @@@@@@@@@@@@@@@@@


	21. Annoyed

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> * sexual content ahead *

I'm on our bed reading my script Max fell asleep on me , afternoon Sunday nap , I hear Amelia and Landon playing the PS4 in his room , I want to go see where Mia is but max is all snuggled against me , I text her " where r you babe ?" She replys " texting me in the house again ? Crazy man I'm washing paint brushes Max fell asleep?" " yep and I don't wanna move him he's so damn cute " " that he is on my way up" I put my phone to the side Mia walks in I pat the side of the bed she lays next to me kisses my cheek lays her head on my chest reaches over and rubs Max's head " his hair is so shaggy he looks so cute , he wants his hair like daddy's " I smile I love he wants his hair like mine , my little buddy . "so you're co star she ...calls you a lot ? I mean is she just going over scripts or?" I look at Mia I can tell she's annoyed it already and I think about what I am going to say next so I do not make this worse "she has a lot of questions about the script so...she has not worked on tv in a while so I think she s just really nervous " she nods and adjusts her head on my chest I don't want her upset , with me leaving soon and it won't start out good if she's not happy about things. "where do you want to go later?" she looks up at me " lets just drive into the city and we can choose when we get there?" I smile I really like when we do that I nod my head she moves up and kisses me then lays her head back down on my chest, two of my loves close to me I am a content man. @@@@@@@@@@@@@@@@@@@@@@@@@@@@@@@@@@@@@@@@@@@@ I smile at the handsome man across from me in our booth, so worth the wait, such good food and we just talked and talked, like I am just soaking up every minute with him and maybe it s silly but to me its not , I am focusing on all the good that will come from this and not how much he will be missed, he reaches for my hand I lay it in his and watch him close his hand over mine" I was thinking and you may think wth ...but you think we should have another baby? " I tilt my head , look at him , he's serious. "honey , I mean I , have thought of it ...but you know with you being gone and the new show you think it s a good idea?" he rubs the top of my hand with his thumb "I mean you don't have to work anymore, so you would be home, and I mean you could even hire help" um not what I was expecting to hear "wait...we have the store Brian, I work there, and I would not want anyone...but you helping with , our baby " he nods" yeah we have the store but I mean it can run without us and maybe in the future you know Scott may wanna buy us out" oh hell no "Brian I don't want to sell , I love that store we did that together, I wanted it to be something we passed down to the kids" he stares at me I am serious " well ok we can keep it, just I am going to be making a lot of money " "you don't know how long this show will be on air, I know they accepted the pilot but, it has to get picked up per season" he nods "Mia I know how that works honey been there" "ok then so...lets not plan on getting rid of the store ok ? " he nods but I can tell he 's not thrilled " and as for another baby, we will see how you're schedule goes first ok?" he nods...but I can see this is not the outcome he wanted "hey look at me" he looks into my eyes, I smile, a smile creeps up onto his face " I love how you want another baby , since max was our surprise baby" "and our best surprise ever Mrs Quinn" "absolutely Mr Quinn" after we eat and the check is paid we walk out to the SUV he presses me into the passenger door and his lips are on mine perfectly kissing me I run my hands under his shirt up and down his back he moans into the side of my neck as his lips move down my neck I kiss the crook of his neck he looks at me" get in the backseat " I nod he unlocks the door and I climb into the back seat he follows me locks the door he sits down I straddle him sitting on his lap our lips smashing into one another's his hands up and down my body I love his hands on me my god " baby it's so great you wore a skirt , easy access " I grin and kiss him deeply he unbuckled his belt I move to slip my panties off I want him In me so bad I reach down and stroke him he adjusts himself then holds my hips I move up and slide down he's so hard I move slow I don't want him to cum quickly he moans while I ride him slowly " fuck baby , Just like that " his face is all pleasure his mouth is open every so often a moan comes out god he's so sexy, I love him he fills me up his hands on my hips ,I run my tongue over his bottom lip he moans then I feel his finger rubbing my clit " bri...oooh " " you're so fucking beautiful Mia , I love you're body....I love what you do to mine " I start to say something but his finger brought me to my climax and I cum yelling his name that throws him over and he groans loudly and cums I feel him cum inside of me I love to feel him cum in me. .. I lay my head on his shoulder kiss his cheek he's panting, I move my head and look into his eyes " I couldn't wait till we got home baby " I love he wanted me right here and now love it " anytime, anywhere with you my Brian " he smirks and holds me close to him. @@@@@@@@@@@@@@@@@@@@@@@@

I'm all packed ready to go the week flew by , I got one on one time with all three kids and my Mia , even my kitties and pup I'll miss them too of course they are sending a car for me this afternoon , I dropped the kids off this morning , Mia hugged me , many times and kissed me she went to the store about twenty minutes ago, I think it's easier for her then watching me leave again , car comes and before I know it I'm in the air headed to LA , I close my eyes and drift off.  
I'm walking around my condo it's freaking awesome the rooms are bigger than what I imagined, there's a jacuzzi in my huge bathroom, two bedrooms the living room is sweet with a huge plasma tv ...Mia would love the kitchen layout I start to text her when there s a knock at my door I look thru the peep hole Kate's on the other side I open up " Brian hey!!! You're here I got in yesterday isn't the condo great? I'm across from you (she points at the condo across from me) I love it how are you? Are you going to invite me in?" I open the door " sure sorry , come in " she comes in I close the door " it's just like mine wow it's sooo nice right?" I nod she keeps talking I listen and nod " the fridge is stocked did you look ?" I shake my head no she opens it I look nice she hands me a beer and takes one herself " so how's the family Brian? How was South Carolina??" I sit and we talk.


	22. Long days...

with table reads being done we are now moving onto taping, it's been two days of table reads , the cast is ready these kids know their stuff it's quite impressive. I am waiting to get my makeup done in my chair I took a pic and sent it to Mia, so official with my name on the back, Kate 's chair is by mine she sits by me" did you get wardrobe yet?" I nod yes "yep that's all taken care of you done in wardrobe? " she starts to tell me when I see a face from my past , that I miss "Brian Quinn! oh my God Bri" I get up & hug Patty she was one of the make up artists from IJ days oh wow "patty you ,wow you are in LA?" she nods "for like 3 years now, I got call they needed help I applied and here I am , when someone told me Brian Quinn from IJ was on this sitcom I had to do it, Brian you look great! " I hug her again " thanks and you do too , I like the hair color on you " she laughs " I like the red too thanks, oh how is Mia? and The kids? oh wow I miss them too, I loved when they would come on set, that , Max I would carry him around when he was a baby" "he turned 8 three months ago" she covers her mouth "stop! that, no little max?" I nod and get my phone out and show her pics of the kids, she always, was always good to my kids, she had a thing for Max, and Mia adored her "Brian they are so ...Amelia is just so pretty and Landon looks exactly like you , I mean before he did but now ...wow " I nod "he is my carbon copy and Amelia " she laughs "little Max was destined to look like his mommy, I miss her, you know I would love to see her and the kids, tell me they are coming to see you here" I nod" yep next weekend my four are coming out" she laughs" oh my God you're four I love you call them that, well hey I am going to go get my make up set up for you & the others we can catch up later ok?" I smile  
"I would love that Patty" she leaves Kate looks at me "she seems so sweet" I sit back down " oh she is a doll, she ...just one of the nicest people I have ever known and worked with , she adores my kids and geez Max was 5 when the show was done, she would carry him around from an infant up she could not wait till he got there , she would not put him down, yeah good times" I think about then I miss IJ days, more so now since I am back in the setting, I miss the guys too....but we knew it would not last forever..they call us over for makeup then we are going to tape ,..,this is exciting I can't wait to see the finished product.   
@@@@@@@@@@@@@@@  
I am waiting for my lovely daughter to please come on so we can go get Max from his friends house, she wants to stop and get some hair products in a minute I am leaving her"Amelia Margaret lets go!"  
she comes down the steps "really my middle name?" "yes really...I have been telling you for 10 mins now we have to go" I hear Landon laughing in the kitchen where he s doing his home work Amelia shouts " Zip it Landon Micheal Joseph" he laughs more , "Landon be back soon, please take the eggplant parm out in 20 mins" "I will mom and I will make a salad" aww my Landon "thanks honey" we get into the SUV and go "did you ever consider giving me two middle names? " I look at her side eye" honey you ask me this many times, no Joseph was after my dad and I wanted him to have you're dad's middle name too" "you could have given Max Michael" I sigh " yes but ...Max was a surprise as you know..so..." she laughs " I could not imagine life without max" I smile "me too sweet pea...you know I wanted you're middle name to be Sophia you're dad said it did not flow " she thinks "Amelia Sophia Quinn" well not bad and I like Margaret since that was granny s name and I know Dad loved her a lot so ...I can live with it " I nod and smile "well thank goodness you can " she gives me her Amelia look, we talk about school, soccer and her dance , she's such a great kid, she has her Dad's smile and how could I not be in love with that .  
@@@@@@@@@@@@@@@@@@  
"so you know Brian from his IJ Days?" I turn around and look at kate Brian's co star " I do...he 's such a sweet man " she nods "he really is, filming was great today , we really mesh him and I " I nod something about her ...I can't put my finger on it...but..." so his wife Mia, looking forward to meeting her, you know I would love to take her to lunch and get to know her since I am working so close with her husband, can you tell me what she may like to eat or you know anything about her?" I look at her, I guess that's normal ..but..."well she's very sweet , um her and I went out many times, Italian , greek, Chinese, you know easy stuff" she nods " how long have they been married?" "hmm I think 16 years " I know they have been together that long but that s not my place to say when they got married or her business "aww how sweet, I was married almost 20 years but my ex got sick of me taking roles and not being in texas with him so we ended it last year " I nod 'sorry to hear that I know that can be tough" she looks at me oddly then smirks " I do hope that Mia & Brian will be ok" ugh ok now she s annoying me " oh trust me, when I tell you they will be, I have honestly never met a man who loves his wife as much as Brian loves Mia, they are so good together, it makes me strive for that in my own life, its actually inspiring, he adores her...and she ...just adores him" she looks at me I give her a smug look she shrugs "well nice talking to you Patty see you later " and with that she leaves..oh honey I know you're game and you are barking up the wrong tree,,back off .  
@@@@@@@@@@@@@@@@@@@@@@@@@@@@@@@@@@@@@@@@@@@@@@@@@@@@@@@@@@@@@@@@@@@@@@@@@@@@@@@@@@@@@@@@@@@@@@@@@@@@@  
that face , oh my God I miss her , I called the kids earlier talked too all three at once, then one by one..Max was so funny his stories , ahh that kid, Amelia went thru every new hair product she got with me, she has beautiful dark curly hair like her mom, Landon fills me in on baseball practice and the lineup he bats third which , he was hoping for and he got second base again he's a happy kid...as I look at that sweet woman I wish I could touch her " so my Bri I can't believe Patty is there, oh it will be so good to see her next weekend" I nod "yeah she's a sweetheart and you ..how is my Mia" she smiles and I see her settle back into the pillows on our bed " I am just fine honey, the kids are doing great , I mean with the helping too, Landon made dinner last night and he and Amelia cleaned the kitchen so I could help Max with his spelling, but ...you know ..I miss you Bri...I tried sleeping in the middle of the bed it felt weird so I moved back to my side " I laugh "aww honey ...I know trust me I feel it most at night...but hey next weekend...you get to lay right next to this guy " ( I point at myself she laughs ) "well now I am excited " I shake my head " hey ...you know what? " she shakes her head no "move closer to the screen " she moves in closer to the ipad and I do too "I wanna tell you something are you listening?" she nods " I love you my girl, no one loves you like I do" she smiles and gets teary eyed she clears her throat "and no one ever will Bri" I smile, she blows me a kiss and settles back into the pillows we talk a little bit more before saying goodnight , sweet dreams baby and I know I love you witj all my heart.


	23. My Four

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> *sexual content ahead *

I look across the aisle max is asleep and Landon is playing a game on his phone , two more hours till we land in LA, two more hours till I see his smile, two more hours till I kiss his lips, 13 days seemed like a month , the kids miss him so much we have four days with him " mom look what dad tweeted " Amelia shows me her phone " good day? Nah great day since my four are coming to town" I smile " I miss him so much mom, I'm so excited to see him " her face is just glowing with excitement " I know baby girl , he misses you just as much " she nods " I mean no ones called me princess in like two weeks well , he did on FaceTime but ...not the same " I laugh and pat her leg she goes back to her phone I watch her for a while. .. I look back over across the aisle Landon is sleeping now as well , Max laying on him , I'm a very blessed person I close my eyes and think of that.  
@@@@@@@@@@@@@

I'm waiting with the car service , they landed Landon sent me a text , I see Landon and Max come out the doors first , Max and his red backpack on his back Landon with his orange one and pulling his suitcase , Amelia behind them with her purple backpack and rolling her purple suitcase then my Mia .. I get out of the car max sees me first runs over I scoop him up and kiss his little face he's hugging me tight , Landon hugs me next I hug him close kiss the top of his head , Amelia hugs my side reaching up kissing my cheek all three talking at once I laugh I love it ...I put max down Mia moves into my arms I hug her close my God she smells good she reaches up kisses my lips " hi baby " I grin at her " hi my Mia" the driver helps Landon and I load up then we go " daddy it's hot here is it like 100?" " it's 90 today buddy , Max my condo isn't far from the beach , wake boarding buddy?" He nods excited " oh yes!!!" " sweet dad I didn't know you were close to the beach " " I thought I told you guys, Landon the water is so blue " Amelia lays her head on my arm I wrap my arm around her shoulder kiss her head " princess you happy to be here?" She looks up at me with the sweetest smile " course I am dad " then lays her head back on me, I hold Mia's hand she moves it up kisses my hand then places it on her thigh , I feel so damn happy.  
" ok kids this is you're room plenty big for all three , and you're own bathroom two beds " Landon can I sleep with you?" Max looks at him " well... I guess but it'll cost you 5 bucks a night " max looks At him " ok I have that in my piggy bank " Landon laughs " buddy I was teasing , you make it to easy " I let the three of them unpack , Mia' s in my bedroom unzipping her suitcase I wrap my arms around her kissing her , she runs her hands thru my hair kissing me , yeah I missed this a lot she moves back " Bri I love you " I grin " I know baby and " she winks " I know Bri ... honey this place is so nice and that kitchen " I laugh I knew she'd love it " and the pool the kids are loving that " I take her hand lead her to my bathroom , she looks around it " bri a tub, a jacuzzi, and a two person shower? I'm in love " I pull her into me " you ...me... all three we are trying " she nods smiling I hear the kids calling us , we go out they are ready to swim , we all go out Mia and I sit by the pool while the kids swim " dad the water is perfect have you swam In here?" I shake my head no" nope was waiting for you guys ...after they swim and you relax I ordered dinner to be delivered, I thought you'd like that instead of going out and more time just us " she leans over kisses my nose then my mouth " perfect bri absolutely perfect just like you " yeah I miss her and the kids a whole heck of a lot.  
@@@@@@@@@@@@@@@@@@@@@@@@@@@@@@@@@  
Later after dinner , and two games of scrabble all three kids are out like lights , I wake Landon up he fell asleep on the couch and walk him to his room max and Amelia are asleep on her bed I take the iPad away and kiss them both then kiss Landon who is asleep again...bri walks in " look at our babies Mia, we made them you know that still blows my mind at times?" I grin and cover Landon up " me too honey " I stand by him in thier doorway " the three best things I've done in my life are all in this room, and of course loving you was first " my god I love this man and I intend on showing him we move to the bedroom when we hear the doorbell it's past ten he looks at me " hold on who could this be?" I watch him walk over and look thru the peephole he opens the door on the other side I see a tall blonde woman smiling holding a container upon close look I see it's kate , um great.  
@@@@@@@@@

She didn't stay long which I'm glad Mia was sweet but she wanted to be alone with me and yeah that's what I wanted I walk her to my room " she lives across from you ?" I nod and take my shirt and shorts off only my boxers on she smiles " you've got sexy legs Mr Quinn" I grin she does love my legs she undress 's down to nothing fuck she's gorgeous I pull her into me then on top of me on the bed she kisses my chest her lips so soft I run my hands down her back then cup her ass I love her ass she moans then looks up at me I smile then flip her so she's under me, she moves her legs apart and kisses me so deeply , I moan into her mouth and push all the way inside it's so warm, tight fuck it's so good , I move slowly just feeling her around my dick is a sensation she speaks softly " Bri , I want to feel you in me everynight I'm here " I kiss her then whisper in her ear " baby I'm cumming in you every night you're here and making you cum too" her legs shake , she moans and cums that sends me over my arms and legs shake I cum it's so fucking good , I lay my head on her shoulder she kisses my head , I'm panting I feel her body under me , I love her so much, it's overwhelming at times and this is one of those times , I move slightly but stay laying on her she wraps her arm around me and snuggles down holding me to her ,it's fucking amazing .


	24. On Set

Being here reminds of IJ set days , many people,many bustling around all working towards one common goal a television show ,after meeting the cast it's easy to see why Brian adores the kids they are all very sweet and talented, and ready to roll which is quite impressive. Kate ...um I'm trying my best to keep an open mind and that's the best I can do right now . I join Max who's sitting now "max my love what do you think?" He shrugs " how long are we staying here?" I look at him he's upset " what's wrong?" He doesn't answer " Max what's wrong honey?" He looks at me " I don't like cobie " I look at him , he's looking at the ground " why don't you like him ?" He shrugs , I think I know cobie plays Brian's youngest son on the show he's 10 cobie's interaction with Brian is making max jealous which I get that but I need to explain to him" Max honey you understand he's an actor playing daddy's son on the show " he looks at me " mom I know that , I get it just ok ...he's here not home and cobie told me daddy kicks the soccer ball around with him and they play air hockey that's on the show?!" " no honey probably when they have down time or lunch " he shrugs " I start to say something when I hear a wonderful voice " max my little Max is that you?" It takes him a few seconds he jumps down and runs to her " Patty !! No way !" She scoops him up hugging him tight I go over and hug her " you little boy I've missed look at you" set sets him down " you know you are the most handsome 8 year old I know ?" He laughs she hugs me " you miss Mia I'm so happy to see you I've missed you " I smile " I missed you too patty you look beautiful as always " she laughs and nods " you my love are gorgeous " she hugs me again Landon and Amelia come over hugging continued after they talk to her Max goes with his brother and sister to get drinks patty links her arm thru mine " lunch this week ok? You n me and listen to me I don't like kate " I look at her she nods " I love Brian and you and I don't pull any punches I'm not her fan " I nod so it's not just me being a little jealous she spends more time with him than I do " no worries we will talk chicka" I nod we plan lunch Saturday she gets back to work Brian comes over a bit later " hey baby lunch break soon you and the kids eat with me?" " of course then I'll head back to the condo ok?" He nods " sure , take my rental the studio car will drop me off hopefully we are outta here by 7 ish I'll come home and change then take my four to dinner some sight seeing " " that sounds quite perfect to me Bri" we go over to the Food tent get a table the five of us sit at I see kate sitting with a director and a few others she keeps looking at us it's making me uncomfortable but I say nothing to Brian after he walks us out the kids say bye and climb into the rental he kisses me " I'll text you when I'm on my way " I kiss him" ok baby have a productive day " he smiles and I head out turning the garments on to get back to the condo. @@@@@@@@@@@@@ Kate's sharing the car ride with me back to the condos slightly past 7 I'm happy We Kept to the schedule today she asks what we're doing I tell her about our plans tonight " Brian Mia is beautiful I mean her pictures I could tell but in person... where did you two meet?" I tell her the story how we met she smiles and nods " well that was destiny Brian , and she's stuck by all you're traveling and being away kudos to her I mean it's a rough life as I know first hand , and she's beautiful woman it's good she's faithful Brian " I look at her like um ok " I mean I was away so much that's when my ex started cheating and I didn't know for almost a year. ... you think you know someone, anyway it's good you have a solid marriage, thought I did I was wrong Brian ...hey enjoy you're family and night on the town see you later sweetie " we both exit the car and go our separate ways, me thinking wth was that for. @@@@@@@@@@@@@@@@@@@@@@@@@@@ Driving around after dinner. , after we walked around the kids did some shopping , beach tomorrow I look back Max is sleeping against Landon , Amelia is almost out and Landon is looking thru his open window in the back breathing in the fresh air , my Landon . " so lunch with patty tomorrow, glad you two can catch up baby " me too ... I'm so glad we have tomorrow and Sunday with you it's been so great being with you Bri " he squeezes my hand he's holding on the counsel " you and the kids , have made my empty condo much nicer , that I love and love you too " I lean over kiss his cheek he turns his head and his lips kiss mine " smooth Quinn " " hey this I know I got it going on" Landon laughs " and what are you laughing at Mr?" Landon laughs more " oh nothing dad nope.. I mean I wouldn't be laughing at you're smooth comment got it going on" " you're dad is smooth that's how I got you're mom " I love him I do " I think mom was just lost in you're eyes I mean I've heard the story how you met and mom has said many times you're eyes drew her in " I smile he's so right bri laughs " see that's how smooth I am my eyes did it course I mean I wasn't letting her go I mean even if I had to grab her and throw her in my jeep she was mine " " nice honey " Landon cracks up " no worries I wasn't going anywhere then or now"


	25. So much

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> *sexual content ahead *

I watch him take his watch off and then his shirt , I love his chest oh I love his body , then his shorts I'm on his bed in my tank and panties he carried max in and made sure they all were tucked in he goes into the bathroom to wash his face , he comes out and moves next to me sitting in the middle of the bed with me " I sat and brushed Max s hair from his forehead , he's so sweet Mia , sometimes I worry he'll be taken advantage of cause of his kind nature but , I love that he's the kid he is " I reach my hand to his face brushing over his facial hair " we just have to teach him how not to get taken advantage of he is so sweet ,...he was jealous of cobie today , cobie told him you play games with him , I explained to him but he's 8 and you're his dad so..." he sighs " I'll talk to him , damn " I move back to sit against the pillows and motion for him to lay against me his back to my front I wrap my arms around him then move my hand to his hair to play with it " honey it's not so bad he just doesn't get it talk to him it'll be ok you're his hero you know that? That little boy adores you so it's normal he's jealous some other little boy has you're attention " he moves my arm around his chest kissing it " it hurts Mia , I feel bad " " no don't come on baby , think of it this way , if he didn't care that would suck " his head nods he runs his fingers up and down my leg making me shiver " it's not easy being married to me this I know " " bri .." " no honey let me finish , I mean it's not a normal marriage , then again what's normal, I mean I was away a lot before this show , IJ and then the tours and you did a lot with the kids our home , day to day stuff I never had to worry about things cause I knew you had it covered, and you never made me feel bad, I mean stressful we had but , and now I'm away more...I still sometimes worry one day you'll be like enough Brian " Oh no he's not going down this path I move so I can see his face " bri look at me he turns I look into those brown eyes I love " so much Brian that's whet I feel for you , so much , love , happiness , so much feelings , Brian I love you so much " He moves and is now facing me " that's never ever going to change " he cups my left cheek with his hand rubbing his thumb over my cheek he doesn't say anything just looks at me , then very quietly he says " who I am today , compared to who I was twenty years ago, the man I am is because you love me" I can't hold back my tears he pulls me into him I hug him tight , my heart is just full of him " I didn't mean to make you cry" I sniffle " it's a happy cry and Quinn " I move from his chest and kiss his lips he lays flat I lay right on him his hands , his fingers , his lips, I love all of him every inch of him , I sit up and look down at him he grins that Brian grin , I move down his body till I'm aligned with him I move to get rid of my panties he moves his hips up I pull his boxers off , God he's sexy , I move my body up and reach for his hands to help guide me onto him , he moans loudly and I feel how quickly he fills me up , I don't move for a few minutes I need to adjust , once I do I move up and down on him he rests his hands on my thighs , he slowly moves them up my thighs his fingers find his wet I am that makes him moan again he moves one finger to my clit rubbing it in a circular motion , oh my ... so good I move faster so does his finger , I look at him his eyes are piercing thru me I love this feeling, I love him his left leg starts to shake he's going to cum , he moans my name over and over he cums one hand gripping my thigh the other rubbing my clit I feel the heat rising in my body , tingling, then I cum , I fall Against him breathing heavy he rubs my back " wanna shower ?" I move my head up smile at him and get up he follows me and we step into the two person shower turning the water on he lathers up a sponge and starts washing me , I take the other sponge and do the same rubbing soap across his chest he washes my boobs more than once. Then moves the soapy sponge over my stomach, inbetween my legs , up my back down my ass , as I wash his stomach and further down , he kneels then washs my legs he moves me more under the spray to rinse the soap off my body , he looks up at me eyebrow raised " I love you're pussy " I feel myself blush he grins he loves it , he moves my legs apart and his mouth engulfs all of me his tounge darts all around it till it's lapping at my core my knees feel weak " bri I can't stand up" he licks more grasping my hips oh my god , I'm cumming I lean forward he holds me up I hold onto his shoulders he stands up looking at me " thanks for holding me up, I almost fell " he smiles " am I a man or what?!" I laugh then reach up to kiss him his wet body , that sexy hair clinging to his head and sides of his face I kneel down he bites his bottom lip I stroke his dick it's already hard I go down and love the feeling of him in my mouth I suckle the tip he grabs my hair moaning, I lick the head then move my mouth all the way down and suck hard up and down " ooh fuck ...M... Mia...yes ..fuck so good " I love his reaction, I suck slower it's sweet torture for him then he cums I swallow all he gives me I kiss each thigh and stand up " just for me " I nod he loves he's the only man I've given a bkowjob to , he kisses me and we finish up in the shower after he wraps me in a towel , I dry him off then drake it over his shoulders , we get into bed , happy and exhausted his front to my back his arm over me pulling me into him I snuggle into his other arm " l love you bri " " I know baby , I know"


	26. it's called nerve

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> *sexual content ahead*

I open my eyes I see it's past 9, no Brian and the condo is quiet I get up and stretch what a great night in every way, I go into the living room no kids..no Brian I see a note with my name in big letters MOM and a heart I open it "went to the beach right outside the condo, join us when you get up, we packed a cooler love Lando, Amelia, Max and Bri xoxo" aww...I go wash my face, brush my teeth and choose one of my suits, the red one , Bri loves red on me, get my cover up and sunglasses , phone and head out to join my loves, I can see Landon 's back he's throwing a frisbie to someone as I head over the small sand hill I see her...Kate sitting by Amelia and Brian , are you kidding me? why is she here? ok composure Mia, Max throws the frisbie to Landon and sees me and runs over the others look over , I bend down and smooch his cheeks "hi Mommy, yeah you are here!" "hi baby boy, you having fun?" he nods "we are going wake boarding soon" he loves that " I know you are super excited " he nods then runs over to Brian "hey mom" landon puts his arm around my shoulders "hello handsome, you have sunscreen on?" he nods smiling "I promise mom no red skin for me this time" we walk over Brian gets up and kisses me "hey baby, sleep well?" he moves his sunglasses up and winks at me, I can't help but smile "very well" I sit where he was , which was next to Kate and he sits by me "hey mom I packed the cooler and made a lot fit you will be proud" I laugh , she always loves packing it tight "Mia how are you? I was strolling on the beach this am and saw Brian and the kids and we got to talking, oh you're children are so sweet" "thank you" I do not like her please go away,. strolling on the beach huh? sure you were , Max runs up"daddy now that Mommy is here can we wake board?" Bri nods and stands up, 'you bet buddy lets get our boards , Amelia let's roll princess" she gets up and grabs her board and joins her brothers and dad, I watch them and sit in akward silence, "you know he really loves you " I look at her thinking what did you just say , " he talked about you non stop when we met, " uh I think I know MY husband loves me thanks chic you do not know my husband " its refreshing and what' s more you trust him being away from you , I mean that's not easy right?" I look at her, "no it's not easy as in we miss him terribly , but when it comes to trust, I have never not trusted him"  
she gives me look like oh sure "are you for real? you never had any qualms about him and other women?" that's it I am going to throat punch her ugh sure I have , but that's not something I am telling you about, I just know she wants him, I knew it and her questions...yeah I am not stupid by any means " nope not once, Brian is a faithful man, he has proved that time and time again, we have a very strong love for one another that won't ever be broken " she stares at me, smirks a little " never say never Mia, you know that old saying" I tilt my head and look at her "never mess with another woman's husband unless you want you're ass kicked, that's a New York saying" she just stares at me, I refuse to look away until she does, we sit in silence until they head back in from the ocean almost 30 minutes later she stands up "Brian so nice spending time with you and the kids, Mia pleasure(she looks at me I nod) I will see you all later " ( I hope not ) they say bye then Bri sits by me, the water glistening on his chest wow my anger for Kate turns to naughty thoughts about my Bri he rests his hand on my knee "patty picking you up at 1 for lunch? " I nod biting my bottom lip he leans in closer " I know that look Mia" I blush and giggle he starts to say something when Max comes over "Mommy here " he hands me a pretty little pink shell "see its perfect no flaws mommy , found it for you " I smile and hold it in my hand and hug him close, breathing him in , he kisses my cheek and runs off Bri smirks "he loves his mama" I lean over and wait for him to turn his lips to mine, once he does I kiss him deeply and softly I moan comes from him , yeah that 's what I wanted to hear handsome.  
@@@@@@@@@@@@@@@@@@@@@@@@@@@@@@@@@@@@@@@@@@  
Landon and Max are asleep on the couch, they were playing xbox, its around 4 Mia is on her way back from lunch with Patty, Amelia and I are chilling by the pool playing cards "dad you know the spring dance is coming up in May before school lets out?" I nod "yep, isn't Landon going with , Ella?" she nods, Landon and Ella are good friends but I think they like one another more than friends, which he will be 14 in July but still ...I don't know "well dad.,.I was asked to the dance " I look over my cards at her she looks nervous " who asked you?" She looks at me " Matt he's in my class and band with me he plays percussion " I think " he has longer hair kinda ? Dark brown " she nods " Amelia you're 11 honey I'm not sure I want you going to a dance with a boy " " dad I'll be 12 by the time the dance comes " great what like for a week ? " princess why are you nervous you can tell me anything, I mean I'm not thrilled but " " we can double with Landon and Ella dad I mean would you like that better?" No I'd prefer you playing with baby dolls and my little pony this is hitting me hard " what did you're mom say?" " that we had to talk to you about it , I really wanna go dad , he's so nice and funny " great I sigh " I'll talk to yours mom and let you know " her little face lights up she's my little girl boys? Oh man no we play and talk and I treasure this time , I know she does too. @@@@@@@@@@@@@@@@@@@@@@@@@@@@@@@@@@ I join him by the pool on the lounge chair I lay on him he holds me close " I loved today Mia , I don't want you all to leave tomorrow night " I rest my chin on my hands that are placed on his chest " we don't want to go either ..but you'll be home in about wait when " he sighs " 10 days " I play with his hair " that will fly by honey and you'll be busy with taping and interviews I know those start next week , it'll be great honey " he runs his hand down my back resting it on my butt " it's hard Mia ..sorry I don't mean to bring you down at all " I kiss his cheek then chest "you didn't bring me down and I know baby trust me ..kids all asleep you and I should . " he raises his eyebrows " should what hmm?" I grin " make love, have sex, fuck , you choose" he grabs my face kisses me hard I feel breathless when he pulls his lips from mine " move to that chair " he points at the chair next to us I lay on it and he's right on me unbuttoning my shorts I help pull them down he kicks them away I feel his finger slide into my panties and then in me pumping in and out his mouth is sucking on my neck oh my god it feels so good he looks into my eyes " who loves you baby ?" I bite my lip " you Bri " he slowly moves his finger out of me I wimper at the loss of that feeling , he grins I feel him rise up then push his shorts down he slides into me so perfectly " who fucked you the best Mia?" My god so sexy " you my Bri " he kisses my mouth " who makes you cum hard?" I moan his name he grins I love when he does this it's so hot he's so deep in me " who licks you're sweet pussy till you scream?" " you my Bri. You " I buck my hips up I feel on fire I love it " who's the only man you've ever given a blow job too, sucked my dick so good " I look into his eyes " you , just you , only you cause I love you and you're dick" he groans loudly I cum I feel Him cum in me my Bri I hold him close to me he kisses my face murmurs he loves me ... oh I know baby I know !


	27. Bye,  no see you later

I look at his face, I am keeping up my spirits for him and the kids, we are on our way to lunch we had the best hike and sight seeing, it was so nice, we head into the resteraunt and sit on the patio, I love this weather, that's a good thing sunshine makes you're mood better and that's a fact. He reads the menu and takes my hand in his , Amelia looks at him then me and smiles and goes back to reading her menu "Max what looks good?" Max looks at Landon, " I am so hungry a lot looks good , daddy what are you getting?" he looks at the menu then Max " I think the grilled salmon salad" "daddy you eat a lot of salads, you should get wings so you can share with me " Bri grins " we can do that " Landon agrees " I am on on that to, garlic please" Amelia coughs " those sound good and the chicken alvacado sandwhich , all that hiking made me hungry" I nod my head in agreement , the server comes over and takes our drink and food order , Bri looks around the table at all of us, "so what do you all think of LA?" Amelia speaks first "the weather is so great, even though it s spring at home, it's like pretty here and not cool at night, I like it" Landon nods "the waves on that beach are sweet dad, and you are right there , man so cool" "yeah it is I like to hear the waves , it actually puts me to sleep at night...Max what about you ?" he shrugs Bri looks at me, then back at Max, he's upset Bri rubs his back , Max looks at him , Bri does not say anything else about the subject , once the food comes Max is talking , but not about LA. ....... Brian and Landon have all the luggage in the Bri's rental, we get in and off to the airport we go, Max has not said much since lunch and back at the condo, Bri parks and we get the luggage out, I go and check us all in at the kiosk, he stays with is till we have to head to the gate, I miss the days when if you were not flying you could go all the way to the gate, but you can't and have to go thru tsa yet, landon and Amelia hug him bye , he hugs them tight kissing them bye , he bends down and pulls Max into a hug, I see Max's shoulders shaking he s crying , I look at Bri's face it 's so sad, Bri picks him up and walks away with him , Landon and Amelia look at me "poor Max" Landon says and shakes his head , Amelia wipes under her eyes "ok this is so sad" I put my arm around her shoulders, these poor kids, my poor Bri, its going to get easier , its going to get easier this is what I repeat in my head, a lot. They come back over Max hugs him tight, then Bri puts him down , I can see tears in Bri's eyes , I hug him to me "I love you my Bri, I will text you when we land , love you so much" he kisses my cheek , I move to kiss his lips, he kisses me then softly says "love you baby" more hugs and kisses and I lead them to the gate, he watches us till we turn the corner I feel a pang in my heart and hold back the tears that want to fall from my eyes.  
@@@@@@@@@@@@@@@@@@@@@@@@@@@@@@@@@@@@@

set is insane, the one director is sick , so we had the 2nd in charge and he s cool but has a totally different style , and it's not meshing with any of us, I was happy to be on set today, I did not sleep well, I miss them and I kept seeing Max's little face, Mia told me he was ok , and I am sure he is, but he was so sad and did not want to leave me, which makes me feel like the worst dad , I just have to work thru it I get that, easier said than done. Kate comes sits down , she is not having a good day, "randy best be here tomorrow, cause Monty is on my last nerve today he wants this,. not that, please lets just get done " that I can agree with, he's totally opposite of Randy, but we can make it work, even if he's a little frustrating. "I know its been a day, but we are almost done and he finally like the last take, and we did do great , I mean we nailed that scene" she smiles at me "thank God you are my husband, I mean I was not sure who they were considering, when I heard it was Brian Quinn from IJ and tesd, well I was like he's perfect" I laugh " perfect? well I don't know, but that's nice of you " she pats my arm " hey I know good actors and you Brian are a great one and you're humor is right on Brian, I think we have a good chemistry which helps for the performance , don't you agree?" I nod "I want a drink , hey wanna stop at Grey's when we are done? a drink maybe some dinner? " I nod "sure sounds good" they are a few mins from our condos so its actually perfect , we are called to do one more scene.  
@@@@@@@@@@@@@@@@@@@@@@@@@@@@@@@@@@@@@@@@ I look at Landon " what did you just say?" " when I texted dad to say goodnight he called me , I heard music he said he was out eating with kate " yeah that's what I thought I heard wth " ok honey thanks , sweet dreams " I hug him goodnight " mom you ok?" Yes I lie he stares at me " honey I didn't hear what you said before , that's all" lying yes but no need to include my son on my undeniable anger , I check on max then Amelia both asleep , I go to Change wash my face , then I text him " hey baby ... wanna FaceTime?" I wait for his reply then it's there " yeah but once I'm home went out to eat with some people from the show " people or kate hmmm" ok I'll be waiting " about 40 minutes later he's calling me FaceTime , I open it he's in a grey tank and smiling " hey my girl you are beautiful " I miss him and he looks good In that tank ficus Mia focus "who went to dinner ?" He stretches oh my god those arms , stop Mia " uh jay. .. Kate and Louis , good time hard day on set so was really great how are you ?" I wanna be mad but obviously it wasn't just the two of them ugh I don't like her " I'm ok " he lookd at me " why are you lying you're not ok baby talk to me " I wanna tell him I don't like her, I don't trust her, she wants him but I don't cause it's a crummy thing to do to him and I do miss him so..." miss you that simple " " aww honey I feel same exact way baby I can tell you're upset never hold back promise me that " I nod and feel an ache in my heart seeing him. And he's so sweet his words his look on his sweet face I let the kate stuff go.... for now , once I say anything negative about her it'll be out and uncomfortable for him I refuse to do that he doesn't deserve that , he's tired I tell him get sleep he says he's going " no one loves you like Mia " I melt " no one ever will Bri "


	28. Hours, days , weeks

Max's face instantly frowns then the tears come my heart can't take it " max I'm sorry honey , they need to get more episodes in believe me you're dad wants to come home " he puts his head onto his arms on the kitchen table , I've been dreading this since Brian told me last night, I waited till after school didn't want to ruin his day he looks at me" so daddy's not coming home till when?" I bite my bottom lip I hate this " he'll be home on the 17th" I cringe he gasps " mommy that's almost two weeks away!!! And he's not coming home this weekend!!! Oh( he cries even more I move over kneeling on the floor hugging him eventually he ends up in my lap as I sit on the kitchen floor , Landon , Amelia walk from thier day at school " mom what's wrong with Max?!"  
Amelia asks Landon stares at us max wipes his face " did you know we won't see daddy till the 17th?! Mommy said he can't come home they are filming !!" They both look at me Landon looks at his phone" that long?" I nod he sighs , Amelia looks at me " that sucks mom" " it does and I'm sorry but it can't be helped you're dad isn't happy about it believe me" Landon takes his backpack and goes upstairs, Amelia shakes her head max gets up from my lap  
I stand too " daddy's missing my first baseball game Saturday and Landon's he said he'd be there " " honey I know and he's upset too but , they changed his filming honey it's no ones fault " he goes upstairs I hear him knocking on Landon's door, I get ingredients out to make dinner Amelia sits at the table to do her homework, I enjoy having her in the room with me. After dinner max is upstairs showering Landon too I hear Amelia say Sal!! I walk into the living tool and Sals there "Mia how are you sweetheart?" He gives me a hug " I'm ..good how are you sal? I'ts so nice to see you it's been a while " he nods " too long I was go n call then I " I cut him off " Sal you're welcome over anytime no call needed " he grins that pretty grin he has , I invite him to sit and go get him an ice tea., the boys come down and chat it up with him , after a while max is falling asleep I wanted him to talk to Brian but he hasn't called and it's past his bedtime " I'll carry him up Mia " Sal picks him up and carries him upstairs, Landon and Amelia kiss me goodnight " guys you're dad should call soon " Amelia smiles " oh I'm waiting mom " Landon shrugs " I'm really tired mom but I'll try to stay awake , night" before I can say anything he's up the steps I know he's upset about him not coming home ..Sal comes back down after I hear him tell the other two goodnight, he joins me on the couch " Mia anytime you need to do something and maybe alone I can watch the kids, I mean I know Landon is older but , I'd be happy to stay with them" he's so sweet " thanks sal I will definitely keep that in mind " we talk a little more then he goes it was nice visiting with him I hear Amelia talking to Brian as I walk past her room good I know she's happy I kiss max and cover him up since he threw his blanket off again , I check on Landon he's asleep I hope he talked to Bri first but I doubt it I go wash my face , brush my teeth then get pjs on , I hear my phone go off I push the button for FaceTime to see him he's in his kitchen " hey my girl , how are you? I tried calling Landon he must be sleeping , sorry I missed max we were filming " "well he was tired so... and Landon too , long day for you honey " he nods "12 hours I'm beat , Amelia was happy to talk to me, I'm glad Sal stopped by" I nod " he s so sweet and kind I am too, honey did you eat?" He nods " they gave us dinner on set , tell me about you're day ... I know it wasn't easy for you telling the kids about me staying here longer " oh that right I nod , he shakes his head " Max was pretty upset ?" I nod he closes his eyes then opens them " I'm sorry that fell on you Mia I truly am " " honey it's on we will work thru it , you are working hard , I got this " he nods looking so tired " get sleep baby and you text me when you're up ok?" He nods" Mia I love you , I love you so damn much and I miss you just as much as I love you " aww my Brian " miss and love you too my Bri , sweet dreams " I blow him a kiss then he's gone I lay down and feel exhausted, good maybe I'll sleep longer till I roll over and reach for him forgetting in that one moment he's in LA my god I miss him , it hurts . @@@@@@ The car is early to get me I see kate waving " hey Brian we are sharing a ride this morning " I get in " morning kate , fine by me, how are you?" She tells me I listen " excuse me I just wanna text the kids before school and Mia " she smiles nodding " I was just about to text my boys " I text Mia morning telling her I'm on my way she says max wants to FaceTime I pick up the call and there s his sweet little face" daddy hi!!! I miss you daddy I wish you were coming home this weekend, my first game of the season ..but I know you can't it's ok daddy " his little face telling me it's ok I could cry , he tells me he loves me I say it back then I see Landon s face he says hi , he's on his way out the door and says later dad and he's gone , I hear Mia tell max get his shoes on I hear Amelia too , Mia picks her phone up" babe we are heading out love you tty " I say love you guys then they're gone " my boys didn't even pick up " I look at her " I miss them a lot I feel , distant I mean not as in far away , my kids I don't know never mind " she pats my leg " hey you can talk to me anytime I know exactly how you feel Brian I do " " thanks appreciate it " once we get to the set and hair make up and wardrobe we start our scenes , towards the end of mine and Kate's scene I hold her in my arms and tell her how much I love her , then we kiss , it's the first time a scene called for a kiss between us not just a peck on the cheek , she puts her hand on the back of my neck leans in and kisses me , her lips linger , I feel awkward but I kiss her back after the scene she smiles at me and softly says " I knew you're lips would feel amazing " then walks away , how do I take that? Oh wtf .


	29. Oh Mr Quinn yes I know him

I'm tired and have a headache I swallow down some iced tea with my Advil and pull into the parking space at the baseball fields to pick up Landon from practice, I get out they should be done in five minutes, it's such a pretty night , I enjoy seeing him practice laughing , he heads over slinging his baseball bag over his shoulder " hey mom how's it going ?" He looks just like his dad he's so handsome " good Honey and you ?" He smiles " good mom thanks for coming to get me I know you did a lot today" " Honey no worries I'm fine " he puts his bag in the back and gets upfront with me drinking his water " hungry Honey? You ate light before practice " he nods " I'd love a sub from papa Charlie's " I nod " mom I can watch max this weekend I mean after the games you know if you want to go out with aunt Michelle " he's sweet " thanks Honey , I'm fine after you're game and Max's grandpa and grandma invited us to dinner " he nods " Landon be sure you talk to you're dad tonight " he doesn't say anything I know he's upset about him not coming home he deals with it by not talking to him which I do not approve of he looks at me " ok mom" fine that's what I wanted to hear and not make a big deal out of it , it's stressful enough  
@@@@@@@@@@@@@@@@@@@@@@@@@@@@@@@@@@@@@

We had interviews for half of the day it's fun but long, we have four more but are on a break and I head outside to call my four Mia picks up on the fourth ring it's Amelia not Mia " hi dad ! Omg I miss you how are you? Mom asked me to get this if you called she and Landon are giving apollo a bath he rolled around on a dead animal or something he stunk" we talk I hear max he gets in on the FaceTime, once they are done Landon comes on" hey buddy apollo all clean? " he nods " how was practice?" He shrugs " you know typical drills it was good " I start to ask him what's wrong cause something is when kate is next to me" Brian hey sorry they need us back they said we can leave after these two interviews,instead of a break " I sigh " ok I'll be right there kate " she nods and goes " Landon I have to go, I'll call you later " he nods and says later dad , he's not himself and I'm sure it's because I'm not coming home this weekend and hoping we will talk about it soon. After I'm all done and the car service dropped me off I grab a beer then shower then call Mia first ring " I see her " hi sweetie I miss you I know you know but I have to say it " "baby I miss you too please tell me anytime you want , oh is Landon up?" She shakes her head no " he's asleep he was so tired from practice today you talked to him a little I know " he nods yes " he's mad at me I know " she shakes her head no " he misses you baby not mad just frustrating Honey so tell me how much you love me " I grin I love her so much we talk about my interviews she laughs and we take about her day my day. , she's beautiful I drink my beer and watch her talk to me I want to kiss her , hold her close to me , feel her body against mine , " Mia I fucking love you , missing you is hard , I knew it would be but this hard I didn't even think would be this bad " she tears up shit " no please I'm sorry don't cry Mia ! I'm sorry baby " she wipes her eyes " don't say sorry bri you tell me what you're feeling , don't hold back , I feel the same way bri and I know we talked about it, but until it's there , you don't really know till we are in the moment , and here we are , we have to talk about it so we can work thru it and not close up baby" I nod she's so smart and so right " my Bri I am so proud of you it's not easy what you're doing , you're away from us , takes a real mAn to do that , and you love us so much that's always known" I smile , her sweet words make me want to cry she's so damn sweet , I'm so damn lucky " @@@@@@@@@@@@@@@@@@@@@@@@@@@@@@@@@@@@@ I'm up reading I had a hard time sleeping after talking to Brian , ahh I need to sleep too many nights I'm missing sleep , I adjust the light on the iPad and come across an article about Brian and his show, he's so funny as I read thri his interview, I get to Kate's and read it three times ugh " oh working with Mr Quinn , do you know, cause yes I don, he's so sweet And kind , helpful if I ha e to run lines , it's convenient since he lives right by me here in gorgeous LA so anytime day or night I know my knight In shining armor is only a few steps from me " oh kate you just need you're ass kicked and I'd like to do it !!


	30. Mood

Kids gone I'm home and staying here till I get them from school I'm so mad at that comment should I be? Yeah I think I have the right , I'm jealous she sees him more than me. She's awful she knows he's married , she has no rest for our marriage , I trust Brian , it's her I do not trust at all. Mad at myself for letting myself let her make me this mad! I go lay in our bed Benjamin car joins me I take Brian's pillow and hold it close to me , I'm not sure how to even do this anymore I close my eyes and pray for sleep , if I'm asleep I'm not thinking.  
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I sit down across from our producer Chuck I asked for the meeting " ok Brian what's up my friend ?" I clear my throat " I'm loving being on this sitcom and I feel very fortunate to be given this opportunity. I want to address something that may be an issue , I think kate is a great actress and a good person but , I can't and don't want any problem with her " he looks at me tapping his finger on the desk " I know what this is about , and I know you're a married man, without saying something I should not cause it wouldn't be professional, this matter has arose before with the individual and I will address it Brian " I look at him ok he knows and seems this happened before " I don't want to cause a problem Chuck " he shakes his head no , we talk a little more and I go , I hope this doesn't start something, maybe I should have talked to Kate first , but it didn't feel right doing that , I mean I don't want it to come across like I am so hot and great that she wants me. but I am not a stupid man comments, looks, and the kiss, it's not appropriate I am a married man that loves his wife, I just hope this does not become a problem. @@@@@@@@@@@@@@@@@@@@@@@@@@@@@@@@@@@@@@@@@@@@@@@@@@@@@@@@@@@@@@@@@@@@@@@@@@@@@@@@@ "mom what's wrong?" I look at Landon as I fold clothes in the living room " nothing honey, just a little sleepy" he looks at me head tilted which means he's not buying it , a look Bri gives, just then my cell rings I see its Bri "its your dad, Landon talk to him, I will go get Amelia and Max, " I go to get them . I come back with them I hear Landon say" yeah Dad I know, thanks got it" he hands the phone to Amelia she talks , Landon goes upstairs, great , after both kids talk I talk to him "hey baby, how are you ?" glad this is not facetime so he can' t tell I am lying "fine, how's filming going?" he hesitates then says its ok. we chat for a bit more, I will talk to him later, facetime he has to get back on set, after dinner the kids are cleaning up and I am putting the leftovers away, then getting snacks together for tomorrows baseball games , "mommy you are going to record when I hit the ball, cause I will , and show daddy?" I nod and smile " honey I will also get you in the outfield and send it to daddy" he grins "mommy send Landon's too" Landon says "you don't have to mom" I look at him "course I do, you're dad wants to see you play" he shrugs "oh then I guess he should be here, like he said he was but you know the show must go on" ok he is more upset then I realized "Landon, you know that can't h be helped, he would rather be here " Landon scoffs I look at him "what? mom if he did he would and I don't; care anymore, he can be gone all the time if that's what he has to , I mean wants to do !" max yells "he does not want to be gone Landon, he misses us he has to be there you shutup Landon!" "ok you guys come on, this is crazy, course we miss dad , but he can't " Landon cuts Amelia off " Oh Geez you and max just have to defend him, well guess what I am MAD! mad as hell and I am, done talking about him not being here!" he storms out and I hear his door slam, Amelia and ,Max look at me, "ok are you two done? Max you're baseball bag be sure its ready to go, you're uniform is in you're room, Amelia we have to leave here at 7:30 am, so maybe shower tonight, " they both look at me, they know we are not talking about what just happened, they tell me ok and go upstairs I hear max tell Amelia , Landon was mean about daddy. yeah I guess he was, but he misses him , sadly this is how he reacts , I will talk to him soon, give him some time to cool off, he needs it I pour myself a glass of wine and look at Apollo he s wagging his tail I sit next to him and pet him , hug him to me, I am just so tired and not just physically. @@@@@@@@@@@@@@@@@@@@@@@@@@@@@@@@@@@@@@@@@@@@@@@@@@@@@@@@@@@@@@@@@@@@@@@ Its already hot and its 8:40 am grand, oh well the boys are excited and Amelia and her grandma and grandpa are all smiles, max plays first, then landon plays 2 hours after, he s sitting with his team behind us, Max is sitting in the dugout with is team and coaches, I take a few pics, he is so darn handsome my little man, Amelia gets up and gets water out of the cooler for her and her grandparents she hands me one then kisses my cheek, the boys take the field, we cheer, Max plays second base I take his picture text it to Brian, I sent him a few this morning, no response I am sure he is filming and can't look at the moment, as the game goes on, we are in the fourth inning, no score, Max is up to bat soon, I check my phone, nothing from Bri yet, odd I try not to dwell on it, I just miss him and hate he's missing the boys first games of the season I know he does too. The boys are taking a break, the other coach called a time out, I look down at my phone, I see a missed call from Michelle I start to text her when someone sits down next to me, I look up after a min or so and its my Brian!!! he smiles and kisses me , I hug him tight "Dad! oh my god you are here!" Amelia gets up and he stands up and hugs her tight she s so happy she starts to cry , my sweet girl he hugs his parents then sits by us all, everyone is talking I turn around, Landon is not there, he must be at the snack shack, the boys go back , max ready at second base "eye on the ball now max" Bri yells , max's head whips in our directions a HUGE smile spreads across his face he waves jumping up and down Bri waves, max goes back to the game and can't stop smiling...I link my arm thru his "honey how?" he smiles "we found out late last night we could not film till Tuesday, the main director had a death in the family & here I am , I missed you all so much, honey (he kisses me again) where is Landon?" I start to say the snack shack when I see him coming back with his friends I wave my arm he looks , sees Bri, his eyes go wide he stands there, oh he better come over, he looks, then walks over "hey dad" "bri gets up hugs him pats his back "surprise" Landon nods "yeah you did/..wow dad..." he smiles and looks at me "you can go sit with you're team , I am looking forward to seeing you play son" Landon nods, I see him tear up and he walks away, that kid...I keep looking at him, like is he really here? oh my God I love him so much and missed him so much, I lay my head on his shoulder he grips his arm tighter around me and cheers on Max, I am so damn happy.


	31. Need, want, love

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> *sexual content ahead *

After each boys won thier games we went to dinner , it was so great I am beyond happy he's home . I hear him and max talking after bri brought him pjs after his shower I stop by his door " daddy I love you so much , I'm so happy you saw my game thanks daddy for here on time !" " buddy so am I , I miss you and you're brother and sister and you're mom a lot so when I'm home it makes me really happy " I love him , I walk downstairs to take apollo out and set the alarm , I feed the kitties, get fresh water for them , I let apollo in then give him fresh water . I give him kisses then into the living room I go to go upstairs, Brian is standing there smiling " hi baby come here " he opens his arms hugging me he has a remote in his hands I see him hit play he tosses it on the couch he holds me close then I hear the music our wedding song by Elvis I hold him close he kisses me " I can't help falling in love" fills the living room as we sway I look up at him " I love this song , I loved our dancing to this at our wedding and you my Bri " he kisses my forehead " no truer words Mia " he softly sings in my ear. @@@@ " look at them Landon, I love seeing them dance to thier wedding song " I nod as we watch them from above the steps " I'm so glad dad s here and I know you are too even though you're mad at him " I shake my head " I'm not mad at him Amelia ... I just ...just ...miss him Amelia I didn't mean to get mad or say stupid stuff , trust me Amelia I miss him too a lot , it sucks at times " she nods puts her arm around me" I bet it Landon ,it does suck but when he's home , I forget all that , know what I mean?" I nod and hug her back , I just want him home all the time, and I know it's not possible, yeah I gotta enjoy him when he's here . @@@@@@@@@@@@@@@@@@@@@@@@@@@@@@@ I kiss the back of her neck pull her into me her back to my front she lays her head on my chest she turns to look at me " I don't even want to sleep I just want to look at you , touch you , you leave Monday night and I just want to soak it all up " I smooth her hair and touch her cheek resting my fingers by her neck " I want to run something by you (she nods) I sit on the chair in our room and she sits on my lap I move us both back I put my legs and feet up she snuggles into me , this is nice " kids are out of school in two weeks , summer starts for them , this is what I was thinking, you all come to LA and spend summer there, we film until July 2 after that we can vacation somewhere else or stay in LA , I'm back on set August 12th , I have two IJ shows in July and you can all come , we'd all be together baby , Danny will take care of our fur babies, what do you think?" She looks into my eyes then bites her bottom lip she's so beautiful " Bri that's a perfect summer, I want that , I know the kids would " I feel my smile spread across my face she lays her head on my chest rubbing my arm " anytime not away from you is perfect my Bri"I cup her face in my hands kiss her sweet soft lips she turns her body so now she's pressed against me her legs on either side of my hips she gently moves back " I'm so in love with you , that feeling when I look at you , touch you , still feels like when we met , Bri I've never had someone love me like you do " " I've told you this in the past Mia , you gave me reasons to fall in love, to want to wear a wedding ring , and to be a dad , all that ...you " " Brian Quinn, no one loves me like you she smiles waiting for me to say it " no one ever will Mia Quinn" she attacks my lips with hers she pulls my shirt up then off her lips moving to my chest and neck kissing , sucking I moan she runs her hands down my bare back I fuckin love her " I haven't been inside you're sweet pussy in 11 days it's fuckin torture " she looks into my eyes " fuck me brian , hard " that s all I need we get up and I point at our bed " show me that pussy I love " she unzips her capris slowly pulls them down I see blue lace panties she pushes them Down fuck she's gorgeous she lays on the bed I see it better I take my pants, and boxers off she licks her lips I lay down my head by her pussy I lick it long and slow like I'm licking an ice cream cone " Brian ...oh ..yes you're tounge perfect on my pussy " I love it and her I crawl up her body kiss her I know she tastes herself on my lips she loves that I slide into her she gasps she s tight been a while I move slowly at first till we adjust then she wraps her leg around my back and I just pound into her she's moaning I'm moaning I can't fuck her enough , deep enough or time , I'm going to make her sore when we are done it's what she wants , my girl gets what she asks for everytime , " bri omg I'm " she cums girating her hips groaning into my neck to muffle her scream , I cum it's been too long and it's fucking amazing she rubs my back I move off then next to her she turns her face by mine she reaches down stroking my dick that is so good she gets up walks to my side of the bed ". Bri sit up then sit on the edge of the bed " I do she kneels down oh fuck I'm gonna cum before she sucks on it she looks up at me " whatever my man wants he gets you ask me or tell me what you want I won't deny you , ever " fuck she never has " Mia baby suck my dick make me cum and swallow it then I'm fucking you again " she sucks the tip then takes me in her mouth I watch as she sucks me so good I pull her hair not hard but enough to know I'm doing it , I feel it and then I cum I hear mmmm she finishes " stand up " she does I stand up and walk us to the bathroom I stand behind her at the mirror I spread her leg and rub her clit we can both see in the mirror she's loving it I kiss her shoulder grab her hips and plunge inside her she Pounds the counter " omg bri fuck , Brian!!!! " she cums from me fingering her sweet clit she's soaked with cum I pump harder her whole body is shaking I cum for a third time her mouth is in the shape of an O I kiss her back she shivers " thank you my Bri , my legs are still shaking and my pussy is pulsating , wow!


	32. NOT missing you

I keep looking at her as we eat breakfast, I can't help it she s smirking at me too , the kids are all eating happily since we told them the summer plan they all jumped on me yelling and laughing, I'd say it's a good thing for the Quinn's. " mom , dad I'm gonna shower then dad shoot hoops with me?" I nod yes " I'm in Lando " " I wanna shoot hoops too!" Landon nods at his sister " then move it so we can play " they laugh and go upstairs, I look at Max who's eating a yogurt " baby boy you shooting hoops too?" He thinks then looks at me then Mia " where did I come from? " Mia and I look at each other , she looks at Max " you came from my tummy , the Doctor helped you come out honey " he shakes his head no" how did I get in there? I know I grew in you're tummy mommy , I don't know how I got there " she looks at me she's starting to panic," well when two people are in love., they want to share that love so they do a grown up thing and have a baby " " how like by kissing? You n mommy kiss a lot is that how I got in you're tummy ?" " more or less buddy" he looks at me then Mia " my friend Joey said you had sex that's how his baby sister got here " Mia looks at me , my sweet baby boy said sex I think I'm panicking I look at Mia, I clear my throat " Max sex is something, it's a word that , well not for little boys to say or talk about , it's something adults ...when you're older we will tell you about sex" he looks at us " you and mommy have sex cause you have three kids , and daddy do you and mommy have sex a lot like every day cause it yes , you'd have like lots of kids!" No I can't even with him I don't know what to say or do, Mia gets up I can see she's going to laugh after I compose myself I tell him , when he's older he accepts this and goes upstairs, Mia sits next to me we both laugh and laugh, ahh our Max. @@@@@@@@@@@@@@@@@@@@@@@@@@@@@@ After we played basketball for a few hours the kids want Chinese food Mia and the boys go to get it , I just showered heading downstairs to set up Amelia's new mini iPad when I get a text from Kate , she didn't mean to over step and she's sorry that things ended this way she'll miss being on the show , she hopes we can still be friends " wth they fired her? I text Chuck he confirms it was the only option he was going to call me tonight but heads up I'll play a single dad now wow this is something, just wow . So after I talk to Chuck , the kids are asleep in the living room, Landon & max on an air mattress and Amelia on the couch, Mia is on my lap on the recliner, I turn the TV off and kiss her head she looks up at me " look at them, we made some adorable kids " she smiles and looks at them, then back at me I proceed to tell her the Kata saga, she listens , nodding but I can tell she does not look one bit surprised "so what do you think?" she moves her arms above her head to stretch then smiles "Bri I knew she liked you honey, from the moment I met her, it was quite obvious to me" I smirk "come on Mia , really?" she tilts her head" Bri not only are you handsome, and sexy, you re kind and sweet do you know how many women, crave a man like you ?" I kiss her lips " I know one that does and that's the one that matters to me" she shakes her head & pecks my lips "good reply Mr Quinn" "all truth baby" she lays her head on my shoulder and runs her fingertips over my bare arm "so you will be a widowed dad , raising three kids? " I nod "that will be me, I hope people take it to it" she looks at me "Bri you are well liked honey , and loved you will be , great its going to be a wonderful & funny show...you a single dad..can you imagine that with our kids?" I frown and shake my head "no I can't and no I don't want to " she looks at me "bri don't get upset honey I was kidding " I move her legs and get up and walk into the kitchen look out the back door , after a few mins I feel her behind me " I am sorry Bri I did not mean to ..upset you " I shrug she moves and stands infront of me , I move my head down and look at her " I have said many times, I can't be without you , I was serious Mia, I am serious I cannot ever be without you , I told you I better Die first when we are old cause I will die of a broken heart without you , I can't fathom that, you can live fine without me" She puts her hands on her hips "oh can I ? well thanks for assuming that Brian, cause you could not be more wrong" I sigh " I mean ..Mia you can survive you are strong, you ..I rely on you so much more than you do on me, you are my, everything, aside from those little humans in the next room, the mere thought of you not being here, (I shake my head and get emotional , she wraps her arms around me I hug her tight we don't say anything for a while but stand there with our arms around one another , she looks up at me and brushs hair from my forehead " so you going to say it first or am I ?" I smile, a huge smile "no one loves you like me Mia, she giggles and nods "and no one ever will my Bri" @@@@@@@@@@@@@@@@@@@@@@@@@@@@@@@@@@@@@@@ It 's chaos, but a controlled one, kids are unpacking, the company I hired to clean the pool is here, Mia is on the phone trying to locate one lost bag from the flight, I hear max & Landon laughing, Amelia is telling them not funny, I missed this, crazy I know,. it was too quiet her for almost three weeks and we decided to bring Apollo , so he s running around the condo, happy to be out his crate and I am sure off the airplane, I am standing smiling like a damn fool, Mia walks into their room to see what they are doing, then I hear her start laughing, Apollo has noticed the pool guys and is barking at them , Mia comes out and looks at me "that grin, you really missed this noise?" I nod and walk to her pulling her into me "so damn much " she laughs and kisses me, oh those lips I pull her into me kissing her back " excuse me , mom, dad..." we both stop and look at Landon, "sorry to interrupt the uh..kissing..but I have a question" "yes my first born?" " if I am sharing a room with my two younger siblings all summer rules need to be put in place" I nod " ok what are the rules?" he thinks " well I will write them down and let you know, thank you " he goes back into the bedroom Mia looks at me " you know all three will end up with rules , right?" I nod "that s gonna be fun times honey" she looks at me then leads me into the bedroom closes the door " Bri I ...brought you something " I watch her go to her suitcase and take a box out , it has a yellow bow on it and hands it to me , I look at the box then her face, which has a big smile on it she stands infront of me, I look up at her and unwrap the bow then take the top off, I move the tissue paper, there s a yellow knitted baby hat, a light green bib, a pink washcloth and a pair of blue socks , I take it all in and look up her, I put the box down stand up and pull her into me I can't speak, I ...am SO happy, she knows I need a minute, she hugs me rubbing my back, I pull back and look at her "baby, I am so happy, how far along are you ?" she smiles "I went to the Dr the day before we left I am 9 weeks, I wanted to be sure and I just could not tell you over the phone Bri" I hug her and pick her up I love her so much, we are having a baby, baby number 4 she kisses my face I put her down and smile at her " I love you my Bri" I kiss her gently, then look into her eyes I love so much "I love you too my Mia" I put my hand on her belly she places her hand over mine, I feel blessed, and content, what else is there , love and I always have that from my Mia.


	33. Number Four

Our summer was amazing, so much fun, we loved being in LA with Bri, school started last week, it was sad leaving him but he will be home soon for the holidays for a while and next weekend he is home  
I am 20 weeks along and feeling pretty good , not tired too much which is good since there is enough to do with the kids, Bri hired a cleaning service and this time I did not put up a fight, I welcomed it actually it helps out a lot, they come three times a week and I am grateful. I go to sit down and catch up on some emails, and reading when bri face times me, I love pushing that button and seeing his face"well hello my love bug how are you?" I smile "I am good sweetheart and you ?" he nods..."how s my Julia"? I show him my stomach bump and then move the phone back up "she was very active last night, it was amusing" "aww I miss feeling her move around, and I miss you , home Friday night baby" I smile and nod , rub my belly, Julia Anna Quinn, Anna after his grandma, Julia we fell in love with after we found out we were having a girl . "I read last night you're show is the top 3 Mr Quinn" he nods giving me the thumbs up " it' s a hit, and we have had just 4 episodes " I nod happily " I told you honey it was going to be a hit, people would like it and you honey are doing a great job, I love watching you on it, you are so talented" he bows and I laugh "well thank you sweetheart you're kind words are so appreciated" he's so funny I love him so much two more days till he is home we talk a bit more , he has to go he blows me a kiss and one for Julia , my Bri. @@@@@@@@@@@@@@@@@@@@@@@@@@@@@@@@@@@@@@@@@@@@@@@@@@@@@@@@@@@@@@@@@@@@@@@@@@@@@@@@@@@@@@@@@@@@ I sit back and re-read was just place infront of me , Chuck looks at me "Brian you did not think she was going to sit by quietly after being fired do you ? :" I don't know what to think , I look at the words in black & white infront of me , then look at chuck "she's a lying bitch, this is slander and I am not going to just sit by, this is my life, I have a wife & kids!" Chuck nods and hands me a paper from the lawyers that work on the show and the network "we have sent that letter to her today, that's your s to keep, we will also be putting a statement out on social media saying all the accusations are untrue, you did not have any relations with her, she was fire for being unprofessional , Brian one thing, you cannot comment on this on social media, any interviews, you're podcast nothing, I mean course you can talk to Mia, but really man that's it, she wants this drama we do not, as a show we are going to take care of it, I know you are mad, hell I would b e too, you know people will have opinions, who the fuck cares you know the truth, Mia does and that's what matters, I know you're kids will be affected , damn social media, but just talk to them Brian, believe me we are not going to tolerate this shit, I did not want to hire her, I heard from a few other directors in the business she was a pain in the ass, but my brother Robert coaxed me into it, and now he s feeling like a real ass as he should, go home Bri, see Mia and the kids...take two extra days and the weekend and see you and the cast Monday 7am ok? " I nod this is ...dammit just dammit ! @@@@@@@@@@@@@@@@@@@@@@@@@@@@@@@@@@@@@@@@@@@@@@@@@@@@@@@@@@@@@@@@@@@@@@@@@@@@@@@@ I hear Max yelling daddy's home he opens the front door and jumps on me as I get out of the uber car I pick him up kissing his sweet face and we go inside, Landon & Amelia r there at the door , I put Max down they both hug me, we walk into the living room me setting my suitcase aside Mia is there smiling , she looks beautiful that baby bump , I love it she hugs me close I feel the bump against my stomach and smile I put my hand on her belly she smiles " she 's glad you came home early too Bri" I smile and kiss her "hungry honey?" I shake my head no, we sit on the couch, the kids on the smaller couch and recliner , Mia takes my hand in hers " so, I have not and will not be reading any garbage she spewed, I know you and none of what she is saying is true, obviously its all lies, I told our three kids not to comment on social media, well two since Max only has instagram , we talked about it and we are not going to let it spoil this family, and the getaway we leave for tomorrow, big bear upstate NY, booked a suite, some pool time, relaxing time for you , all set for a mini family vacation" I look at her, then the 3 smiling faces on the couch, then back to Mia, I don't even ...I just tear up and nod my head she moves closer and pulls me into her rubbing my back I just adore her, and my kids , I hear them get up I look up and they all bend down and hug me, then go into the kitchen I wipe my eyes "Mia, can you just not be so fricking amazing?" she laughs and kisses my cheek " I love you Brian and I know all lies, not letting that into our lives, and not letting you stress I know it bothers you and I get that, but I want you to know, I will do whatever I can to take that stress from you baby " I wink at her and kiss her sweet lips no one loves me like this woman, no one ever will. @@@@@@@@@@@@@@@@@@@@@@@@@@@@@@@@@@@@@@@@@@@@@@@@@@@@@@@@@@@@@@@@@@@@@@@@@@@@@@@@@@@@@@@@@@@@@@@@@@@@@@@ sitting in the cabana watching the kids play in the pool , Brian s heading over from swimming with them , my God is he sexy , he sits on the lounge chair next to me wipes his face and chest off " I am loving it , can I say again thank you my love?" I nod " seeing you happy, and not as stressed makes me a happy woman, that massage was good this morning " he nods "all that tension in my neck gone, Jason did a good job, thanks babe" I drink some water and start to say something when the baby kicks "bri hand" I grab his hand and place it on my belly she is so active you can actually see my belly moving "oh man she is really kicking it up in there, (he moves closer to my belly ) Julia what's going on in there , you gonna play soccer like you're brothers & sister or are you partying already? Daddy loves you baby girl" (he kisses my belly and I melt, he keeps his hand there " God I hope she looks like you " I sigh "Bri , or you , my handsome man and before you say a word Landon is you're twin and Amelia favors you and they are both beautiful " he smiles "ok ok , you got me Mrs Quinn" I nod in satisfaction , later in the night I am so uncomfortable I just cannot sleep I sit up and stretch my arms above my head, I try to relax but I feel , funny I move to get up & feel something wet I turn the lamp on and see blood , on the bed on my pj pants I shake Brian to wake up , I do not remember much after that, I know on the way to the hospital I keep praying and saying over and over to Brian , it's too soon, she can't come out yet Brian , it's too soon, he has my hand tight pressed against his lips he nods s rubbing my head with his other hand , I just keep telling him it's too soon.


	34. It's very scary

They are trying to stop her contractions, she is hooked up to two machines, the Dr said they are trying their best but the baby, our baby will more than likely be born today , a little over 3 months pre-mature, he talked to both of us Mia is a wreck, I am trying so hard to keep it together for Mia and the kids, the kids I called My parents, I called Michelle, I called the guys we are about 2.5 hours from home, my parents already left as did Michelle, Sal is on his way I see texts from Joe & James I will get to them soon , I go and sit with the kids , I sent them to go eat and get out if the room for a bit, they are in he small waiting room close to Mia's room, I sit next to Amelia and Max, Landon is in a chair by us "grandma texted me, said they are about 45 min away dad" I nod "daddy is Julia going to be born today?" I look at him and nod, Amelia hold back a sob I put my arm around her she clings to me, Max hugs my side I look at Landon he tears up, I compose myself, they need a strong person right now  
"the Dr here says as soon as she is born they will take her to the Nicu and do everything that needs to be done for her, babies are born premature every day , Julia will just need time to heal and grow"  
Amelia wipes her eyes "I want to go see mom" I nod she gets up and goes, Max gets up and says he's going with Amelia , he calls for her to wait, Landon clears his throat "it's bad Dad isn't it?" I look up at him , his eyes are teary, his face is concerned, poor kid I nod yes "but Landon we just need to hope and be positive " I do not know what else to say he nods after a moment he comes and sits by me putting his arm around my back resting his chin on my shoulder , I move my arm and hug him to my side.  
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It's almost 10:41 pm I have been here since 6 something in the morning, Julia was born at 8:14 pm , she is one pound she is so tiny and helpless, I go to see a glimpse of her till they whisked her away, Brian and I just got back from nicu, she is so tiny, all I could do was cry looking at her in that incubator, please, please God hear me I have been talking to you , all my life, and I always will please, watch over our Julia, it's scary being here, this is not my hospital or doctors , I know nothing of this place, these doctors or nurses , it's very scary, the kids went back to the hotel with his parents this afternoon they needed to be elsewhere, away from the sadness they re coming tomorrow to see her, Brian just walked back in from calling someone, I don't know who, I don't care at the moment he sits next to me on my bed "honey eat something, you need to eat " I shake my head no "I am not hungry Bri" she s looking out the window I feel helpless I guess cause I am , at the moment she clears her throat " I don't know what I did wrong, I had three babies before her, all carried to term, I took care of myself, I took my prenatal vitamins, I did not carry anything that was heavy, I took walks, maybe...I over did it walking? I don't know..all I know is this is my fault Brian and I am so sorry (she turns her head to look at me now)Brian , I am sorry forgive me " she starts sobbing I quickly pull her into me "Mia this is not you're fault oh ,,how can you even think that? honey forgive you for what? Mia no, you can't do this to yourself ( I pull back so I can look at her ) it happens no one know why , it does you have to think positive , Julia needs us both to be strong baby , you and I are fighters we do not just give up, she has that in her its in her blood , I know it s scary baby, I am scared but we can do this and Julia she is going to make it she has to, she is our little girl" (I can't keep talking I hug her to me, my tears won't stop I need to find strength , and fast ) @@@@@@@@@@@@@@@@@@@@@@@@@@@@@@@@@@@@@@@@@@@@@@@@@@@@@@@@@@@@@@@@@@@@@@@@@@@@@@@@@@@@@@@@ the kids and I, Mia my parents aeare in the nicu, the nurse was kind and let Max in for a bit he is under age but she said its important he sees her , I agree , Amelia looks devastated I keep a close eye on her Landon puts his arm thru Mia's "mom she has some dark hair already I bet it will be curly like yours and Amelia's " she smiles and kisses his cheek " I bet she will honey" Max holds my dad's hand "Grandpa I am finally a big brother " My dad smiles at him and pats his back "you're turn now huh buddy?" max nods, my mom can't speak she keeps tearing up, after we visit with Julia Mia stays with her I take the kids and my parents downstairs for lunch and fresh air, we sit outside, I have been talking to chuck he said take the week there , and they will film around me I don' t know what to , I do not want to leave Mia and Julia, but I don't have much of a choice, my parents are going to take the kids home tomorrow and stay with them , since they are back in school now, Michelle is going to help with the kids too, Mia will be here alone, I know she can stay here for 2 weeks but then who knows, maybe get her a hotel close by driving two and a half hours daily is not going to work, this is hard so hard, Amelia excuses herself and goes to walk over by a pond they have outside , I walk over and sit by her on the bench "talk to me princess " she looks up at me "dad I ...am a bad person " I look at her " I doubt that princess" she shakes her head yes "I ...dad ...she starts crying " I was ...I am ashamed I was upset when I found it , mom was having a girl , stupid I know...I just I am the only girl and you and me...we have this bond...oh my God I am horrid, and now ..look poor little Julia" and with that she cries harder I hug her and rock her a little bit after she calms down I wiper her face with a few tissues I have "Amelia Margaret Quinn you are not horrid, or a bad person, and nothing you said or thought has anything to do with Julia being premature, and you will always be my princess, we will always have a special bond, I have enough love kiddo for all four of you , the day you were born you were my princess, you will be 50 same thing, Julia will always be my princess , and those two boys over there (I nod in their direction) my boys, Amelia you are now, my first born girl you will always and forever hold a special place in my heart" she hugs me " I love you dad . so ..so much"


	35. Day by day

It's around midnight, we've been here almost a week , Julia gained a few ounces , her vitals have been ok she has a long road ahead , Brian has to get back to work on Monday, the kids are home with his parents and Michelle is helping , I'm being discharged Tuesday today is Sunday , Brian booked a hotel a block from the hospital, I don't want to leave here without her , she's supposed to leave with me, but that's not happening, another obstacle we will overcome, I wash up and put the gown on to go into the nicu , Brian is in the rocker by her , he's leaning by it talking to her I don't want to interrupt, he's leaving tomorrow and I know it's killing him. I walk out and back to my room I sit in the chair and think , about Landon , Amelia, Max , I miss them terribly I know they are being well taken care of , it's hard on them , they've been so brave and good kids , they love Julia and are very much looking forward to her coming home , everyday she will get better , stronger she's our baby girl , my Brian is strong , I have that in me , Julia does too, she has to I can't think of the alternative. Ever . @@@@@@@@@@@@@@@@ She's so tiny , I can't understand why she was born so early , I know it happens I'm aware of that but , this is not what was supposed to happen, none of this , everyday I see her I love her even more, she has to fight she has to be ok I couldn't imagine life without my Julia in it. I don't want to leave her or Mia I know I have to, the have to part is the worst , all this will fall on Mia and she needs me now , and I won't be here , and that makes me feel Like the worst husband and father to ever walk this earth . I miss my kids this isn't easy for them , and they have been so great, you know you're raising you're kids right when moments like this prove it. She s on her way to two pounds which is excellent news my sweet little Julia you are going to be just fine. Mommy will be here every day , I'll miss you so much sweet girl I'll be back as soon as I can , I promise . @@@@@@@@@@@@@@@@@@@ I'm texting Brian it's 8:34 pm he should be back at his condo nothing Hmmm I look at Julia " you're daddy is MIA where could he be ? I let him know she had a great day it's Thursday he's been gone almost two weeks the kids are coming up tomorrow, It's a strong possibility I can hold her in a few days she gained a pound and 4 ounces look at her go , Sal has been up to see her twice it's so sweet of him . I sit in the rocker and put my hand inside to touch her thru the plastic I rub her sweet little arm , she responds well to you when you touch her. Where the heck is he @@@@@@@@@@@@@@@@@@@@@@ I wake up it's 4:59 am shit I don't even remember falling asleep yesterday I text Chuck telling him I'll be late to set no way I'll make it by six am I see Mia texted me four times the first was 6:47 pm yesterday. I was already passed out? Damn I text her telling her I'm so sorry we worked late and I was exhausted I meant to call but fell asleep , that parts true but I had finished the whiskey then had three beers , I drank till I passed out , smart? Nope stupid ? YeS it was but it numbs the pAin and right now that's what I'm doing , being away from my family my Julia. , my sweet baby girl who they don't know if she'll live or not I don't know how to cope no one is here I'm close to, it makes me forget and as horrid as that sounds , or makes me a dick so be it , cause right now it's my coping mechanism.


	36. Heartache

I watch Amelia stroke Julia's hand thru the incubator it's so sweet "mom she looks bigger I mean from the picture you sent two days ago" I nod " she's gaining here and there , I love the stuffed giraffe you got her it's so soft she was looking at it yesterday " Amelia smiles " hopefully my baby she sister shares my love of giraffes " I watch Amelia talk to her Landon comes in " mom go get something to eat I'll stay with Julia and Amelia " eat I'd rather sleep but getting up to maybe walk outside sounds great " are you sure ?" He nods "Sal is here he wants to take you to lunch , go mom you need some fresh air " I nod " we will be here though so text me if anything " he nods I kiss them both and walk out to see Sal I hug him he's so sweet "thank you sal for coming and all you do" he waves it off " no thanks is necessary come on now " we take the elevator down walk to the cafeteria, get food then go sit outside at a table the sun feels so good and it's a nice warm October day " me and joe and James we have a schedule, we came up with , we all want to help , want to see Julia and give you a break I know it's all on you , I'm not saying anything against Bri of course , Michelle has a day in there too , she s loving being with the kids " I look at him and tear up he reaches to hold my hand " don't cry you know I'm a crybaby come on Mia , we love you and BriAn the kids , we're a family " I nod and wipe under my eyes I appreciate and need help, I'm so  
Lucky to have them , I miss Brian so much and I love the fact they are here and help I'm beyond lucky, I just wish Brian could be here and it's so hard on him too I know it is, harder than it is for me...  
@@@@@@@@@@@@@@@@@@@@@@@@@@@@@@@@@@@@@@@@@@@@@@@@@@@@@@@@@@@@@@@@@@@@@@@@@@@@@@@@@@@@@@@@@@@@@@@@@@@@@@@@@@@@@@@@@@@@ Chuck comes in and sits down on my couch I sit across from him "Brian I know this is a tough time for you , I get that man, I would not even want to be ...where you are , that being said, maybe its best you go home and we can get a stand in for you , like thinking we will bring in you're brother as in on the show, you will be deployed we can fit that into the script, since we already have you as someone in the national guard on the show, I am giving you three weeks to be home, we will tape 4 shows using you're brother , and ...I know you have been taking things hard, the drinking ( I look at him) Brian you are my friend , I care about you a lot, I want you to go home , spend time with Julia and Mia and the kids, do not think about LA, concentrate on them ok? and give Julia a kiss for me I think about her all the time Brian , I want you to be ok Brian ok ?" I nod I can't talk he gets up so do I and he hugs me pats my back, I thank him and show him out and text Mia I am coming home. I can't wait to see Julia, and all of them , I go to back and find a flight home. @@@@@@@@@@@@@@@@@@@@@@@@@@ I see Mia sitting in the NICU thru the window, I hurry and scrub up and get a gown , I put in the passcode and go in she stands up and hugs me close, I missed her so much "brian I am so glad you are here , Brian we can hold her today, she can come off the high percentage of oxygen today, Dr Titan said we get to hold her today?" I tear up, we have not held her yet, we each kissed her and they whisked her away into here I wipe my eyes and kiss Mia then look at Julia she looks bigger in person than the pics , "she's three pounds Brian they weighed her last night , she is doing do well, compared to a few days ago..she has really progressed " I nod I am so happy, two days ago she was not doing well at all, this little girl keeps us on our toes, thank God for her "hey baby Daddy is here, I love you my Julia, mommy and me get to hold you today baby , it's an exciting day baby girl" a nurse brings over another rocking chair I thank her and sit down next to Julia, Mia texts my parents, family, friends, course Landon and Amelia about us being able to hold Julia today, my God I am so happy to be here , I tell Mia take a break she says she will go take a quick shower and be back and change, she leans down kisses me and tells Julia she will be back and goes, I sit and look at my baby girl , I get texts from my kids, and text them , I hear Sal I turn around he s walking towards me in a gown I stand up and hug him "bri man so happy you are home, got the text from Mia, man what a day you get to hold her " I nod he sits by me " I saw Mia on my way up here, she s so excited " I nod" she is...how's she been Sal? and have I thanked you enough for being here..no I never could man" he waves me off "Brian come on, man I want to be here we are family , you would do the same for me I know this, and I am falling in love with Julia I gotta say she 's a little beauty" I smile , yeah she is he looks at me "you know Mia she is ...tough but this..is taking a toll on her, she is here all the time, as I am sure I would be, she has huge guilt not seeing the kids , especially Max, Michelle brings them every weekend, and one day during the week, I have , you're parents come, Joe , James...Mia just needs a break and I know even with you here she won't take a real one,. she said the day Julia comes home is when she will feel like breathing easy again, and course she misses you Bri, not once is she mad about you being gone, she just needs you man" I nod " I was going to quit the show Sal, I was ready to tell Chuck I have to be with them, Julia, Mia , the kids need me, but Mia talked me out of it, she said this was temporary I worked hard to be where I am , but I really was like F this, and course under contract but...I need to be here, I can't cope there Sal at all" he nods " I was worried about you Bri, if I was not here, I would have been visiting you , but..." "sal you being here for Mia, is where I needed you most Bro , do not worry about me " he shakes his head " oh but I do Brian, I do..alot " I nod but shake my head he keeps looking at me, I think he knows..but he's not saying anything...I look at Julia and think about holding her in my arms. @@@@@@@@@@@@@@@@@@@@@@@@@@@@@@@@@@@@@@@@@@@@@@@@@@@@@@@@@ it's been almost two weeks, Julia has made wonderful progress if she can keep it all up she can come home very very soon within the next week , I am elated, Michelle and Sal insisted and I mean pushed Brian and I out the door to go to dinner, to get away go away and do something, we had lunch with the kids it was so great , its like a HUGE weight has been lifted off our shoulders, they kids are sooo excited Julia can come home and hopefully while Brian is still home he would love that, his parents and the kids went home, Brian came over to the hotel to shower and change I already showered he comes out and looks at me smiling I smile back , go to him and wrap my arms around him he feel so good, I feel like a human , more than I have in weeks , he looks down and runs his hands thru my hair "I was thinking we can stay in and ...." I nod " I missed you and would love to spend alone time with you my Bri, been so long" he nods I take his hand and lead him to the bed he s so handsome, he even looks happier since hearing about Julia, after we held her, all the kids go to, and my parents, Sal and Michelle...in the past few days Julia has had so much love put upon her, I hope she always feels that all her life she will from us, always I kiss his sweet lips I taste ...something..."Bri whats that taste on you're lips?" he looks at me and shrugs I swear I smell alcohol but he had none at lunch , or did he have a beer? I don't remember he may have, I don't care I kiss him harder I feel his tounge in my mouth and moan into his mouth he feels so good , his hands on me, all of him always so good my god I love him he stops and looks at me..."what baby?" I stroke his head, he got his hair cut, buzzed he's so handsome with hair or not , he looks upset I sit up and he gets off the bed "I can't lie to you Mia, I know I ...this is not what you ...I am sorry mia, I " he 's scaring me, what is wrong? why is he sorry? "Brian what is it, you can tell me Brian , talk to me honey " he looks at the carpeted floor then me " I have been drinking Mia its how I am coping with ...all this,,,I am a HUGE loser, and weak here you are taking all this on and I am in LA drinking away my pain I can't cope like you Mia, and I feel like a loser and failure and you ...are ...I don't deserve you , the kids look at me like I am a great dad, ha I am drinking still while I am here, I can't stop Mia! and I am SO sorry honey I am so sorry" he kneels on the ground crying I get down from the bed and kneel infront of him I take him in my arms and rub his back I wait a few moments , Brian look at me he does I hold his face in my hands "Brian you are NOT a loser, or a failure you had a lot of pressure on you, and you were alone , honey you will be ok, I will ..get you help with the drinking if I can't help you on my own, I love you Brian good times and bad, always and you ..are a GREAT dad the kids could not have a better dad, and they adore you, like me...the drinking you have to get over, I need you , Julia needs you , Landon needs you , Amelia needs you and Max needs you and we want you to be ok and healthy, baby its going to be ok , I promise you that " tears stream down his face " Mia how ....I love you Mia, I can never be without you , My god you forgive me just ,like that?" I nod and wipe his tears away and mine " just like that you are my Bri...always and I love you baby , always " he says he knows and hugs me tight.

***this story is over the next story to come in this series is "Full Circle" the Brian and Mia story continues...


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